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Dusty-isms: Let's make a list!

Electron Blue

By Electron Blue,
in Chicago Cubs Talk

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Electron Blue First Round Pick

Electron Blue

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Despite the end of the losing streak today, I think some of use still have some frustration to vent. I think the healing of the season can be helped by neatly organizing the reasons so many of us dislike Mr. Baker - in his own words.

 

Consider the now-famous quote about disliking batting patience, the recent contradictions in the suntimes article, his undying loyalty to his 'dudes,' not to mention the ultra-common nonsensical ramblings.

 

(I would compile this myself, but I'm no good at research. Besides, maybe it could be a fun waste of time :))

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Slugger_16 First Round Pick

Slugger_16

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A quick Google search netted me these Dusty quotes from Esquire Magazine.

 

A few of my favorites:

 

I'm what you call a midsleep insomniac. I can fall asleep quicker than any man you've ever seen. Don't carry on a conversation with me when I'm on the bed, because I'm gonna go out on you. But I might wake you up at four o'clock in the morning to finish it. My best thoughts come then.

 

I don't like oldies unless they're rap oldies. Too Short. Run-D.M.C. My wife listens to oldies. I tell her to turn the station.

 

I remember watching The Twilight Zone one time, and this country dude was coon hunting, and this coon pulled his dog beneath the water. So he jumped in to try to save his dog. And they die, the dude and his dog, only he doesn't know it. All he knows is that they're walking down this road. And there's this guy standing there by this gate saying, "Come on in, neighbor!" So he's about to go on in, but the dog starts growling. And the guy tells the dude that his dog can't come. And the dude says that he isn't about to go anywhere his dog isn't invited. So he walks down the road a little farther and there's another guy standing there. And he says just like the first guy, "Come on in, neighbor!" And the dude says—you know, after his last experience—"Is my dog invited?" And this guy's like, "Sure, man, bring your dog on in. Why wouldn't your dog be invited?" So the dude says, "Well, there was this guy back up the road, and he wouldn't let me bring my dog." And the guy says, "Well, that guy's guarding the gates of hell. This here is heaven." His dog saved him. And, man, I could identify with that. I ain't never been without a dog.

 

I counted 6 "dudes" in that story.

Geech First Round Pick

Geech

Old-Timey Member
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I remember watching The Twilight Zone one time, and this country dude was coon hunting, and this coon pulled his dog beneath the water. So he jumped in to try to save his dog. And they die, the dude and his dog, only he doesn't know it. All he knows is that they're walking down this road. And there's this guy standing there by this gate saying, "Come on in, neighbor!" So he's about to go on in, but the dog starts growling. And the guy tells the dude that his dog can't come. And the dude says that he isn't about to go anywhere his dog isn't invited. So he walks down the road a little farther and there's another guy standing there. And he says just like the first guy, "Come on in, neighbor!" And the dude says—you know, after his last experience—"Is my dog invited?" And this guy's like, "Sure, man, bring your dog on in. Why wouldn't your dog be invited?" So the dude says, "Well, there was this guy back up the road, and he wouldn't let me bring my dog." And the guy says, "Well, that guy's guarding the gates of hell. This here is heaven." His dog saved him. And, man, I could identify with that. I ain't never been without a dog.

 

Oh, man! Hahahaha! This isn't actually real, is it?

Electron Blue First Round Pick

Electron Blue

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I remember watching The Twilight Zone one time, and this country dude was coon hunting, and this coon pulled his dog beneath the water. So he jumped in to try to save his dog. And they die, the dude and his dog, only he doesn't know it. All he knows is that they're walking down this road. And there's this guy standing there by this gate saying, "Come on in, neighbor!" So he's about to go on in, but the dog starts growling. And the guy tells the dude that his dog can't come. And the dude says that he isn't about to go anywhere his dog isn't invited. So he walks down the road a little farther and there's another guy standing there. And he says just like the first guy, "Come on in, neighbor!" And the dude says—you know, after his last experience—"Is my dog invited?" And this guy's like, "Sure, man, bring your dog on in. Why wouldn't your dog be invited?" So the dude says, "Well, there was this guy back up the road, and he wouldn't let me bring my dog." And the guy says, "Well, that guy's guarding the gates of hell. This here is heaven." His dog saved him. And, man, I could identify with that. I ain't never been without a dog.

 

Oh, man! Hahahaha! This isn't actually real, is it?

 

HA! I don't mean to further pick on Dusty (or do I?), but picture Joe Torre or Bobby Cox telling that story in those words. I can't see it either.

BleedCubbieBlue81 First Round Pick

BleedCubbieBlue81

Old-Timey Member
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I'm imagining it recited by Bill Walton.

 

I'm imagining it in James Earl Jones' voice because Bill Walton makes me want to hurt small animals. But that's still hilarious. Wonder what sort of "medication" he was on?

 

By the way /, you have a very unique screen name.

Marco4 ACL Cubs

Marco4

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted

That striped bass thing... it blew my mind.

 

Edit - I meant this to go in the other thread, but I chose the wrong window. :oops:

rocket Iowa Cubs

rocket

Old-Timey Member
Posted
Posted
I remember watching The Twilight Zone one time, and this country dude was coon hunting, and this coon pulled his dog beneath the water. So he jumped in to try to save his dog. And they die, the dude and his dog, only he doesn't know it. All he knows is that they're walking down this road. And there's this guy standing there by this gate saying, "Come on in, neighbor!" So he's about to go on in, but the dog starts growling. And the guy tells the dude that his dog can't come. And the dude says that he isn't about to go anywhere his dog isn't invited. So he walks down the road a little farther and there's another guy standing there. And he says just like the first guy, "Come on in, neighbor!" And the dude says—you know, after his last experience—"Is my dog invited?" And this guy's like, "Sure, man, bring your dog on in. Why wouldn't your dog be invited?" So the dude says, "Well, there was this guy back up the road, and he wouldn't let me bring my dog." And the guy says, "Well, that guy's guarding the gates of hell. This here is heaven." His dog saved him. And, man, I could identify with that. I ain't never been without a dog.

 

this story is even funnier if you imagine the question being asked is "why did you leave kerry wood in for 167 pitches"

JC ACL Cubs

JC

Verified Member
Posted
Posted

 

By the way /, you have a very unique screen name.

 

I was wondering if it was tribute to G'NR.

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