[expletive] WORK THREAD

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TruffleShuffle
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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby TruffleShuffle » Tue Apr 23, 2013 12:48 am

lol wtf is wrong with this lady

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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Banedon » Tue Apr 23, 2013 7:03 am

imb! wrote:
imb! wrote:The lady that sits across from me just farted on a co-worker, literally cropdusted him as he walked behind her. It wasn't one of those "old lady squeaker farts," it was a full-on relief fart. He shot her the biggest go to hell look i've ever seen and she meekly smiled and said "pardon me." It's now wafting over to my desk. This poisonous fart is now ruining what had been a pretty productive Monday.

[expletive] YOU FART

Anyone else want to gripe about their job?


Last week, a few people were complaining about "a smell" in the newsroom badly enough to break up a managers meeting to ask someone to get a maintenance person in the men's room to "clean up."

While everyone is trying to find the source of this smell, the woman above stands up, grabs a can of lysol and sprays herself in the butt hole. That was a new one for me.


I look forward to a long, and hilarious series of stories involving this woman.

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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Derwood » Fri Apr 26, 2013 1:18 pm

Restroom at work was out of toilet seat covers, so even though I used TP to cover it, I probably have AIDS now

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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Sammy Sofa » Fri Apr 26, 2013 4:39 pm

Ah, yes, the germ-impervious shield of paper.
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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Stannis » Sat Apr 27, 2013 6:13 pm

the best thing you can do to shield your anus from germs is put a piece of TP in the bowl to prevent splashback.
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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Pushfrog98 » Mon Apr 29, 2013 12:54 pm

Lo_Pan_Fan wrote:the best thing you can do to shield your anus from germs is put a piece of TP in the bowl to prevent splashback.

A.S.S.
Anti-Splashing System. I even do this w/ home court advantage.

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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby yanrslatr » Mon Apr 29, 2013 3:48 pm

Guy just walked out of a stall carrying his coffee mug. Dude

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David
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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby David » Mon Apr 29, 2013 3:58 pm

Mariner's Revenge wrote:Guy just walked out of a stall carrying his coffee mug. Dude


One of these is needed
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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby yanrslatr » Mon Apr 29, 2013 4:01 pm

There's a shelf right when you walk in that's at least shielded from direct air contact by a wall. There are also shelves outside the bathroom that some people use for mugs. There are options.

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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Stannis » Mon Apr 29, 2013 6:32 pm

Mariner's Revenge wrote:There's a shelf right when you walk in that's at least shielded from direct air contact by a wall. There are also shelves outside the bathroom that some people use for mugs. There are options.


a mug or cup should not be in the bathroom at all, they don't belong there.
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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Sosa21MVP » Mon Apr 29, 2013 8:36 pm

TruffleShuffle wrote:
Sosa21MVP wrote:I know the bathroom atrocities have been well-covered here but [expletive] it I have to rant about it. The amount of toilet clogging explosive [expletive] that I have been witnessing recently is quite disturbing. First of all I work on the 5th floor of my building and on any given morning all 3 crappers on my floor are jammed up with ungodly abominations. Okay I'll go to the 6th floor...oh wait all those stalls are occupied due to the aforementioned [expletive] bombings.

Great, let's go to the 4th floor...oh somebody exploded ass all over those toilets too. Well at this point I'm about to [expletive] my pants so I head to the 3rd floor with hope in my heart. Oh, all stalls are occupied. The butterfly effect. At that point I just take the elevator to the basement and try my luck there.

Damn it.


sounds like you need new toilets at work if the toilets are getting clogged that easily. public toilets should have a large hole at the bottom and enough suction to wolf down a sleeve of golf balls.


Yeah well...those toilets continue to get clogged on a consistent basis. I feel like I'm playing Russian roulette when I go to pick a stall.

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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Fred Hornkohl » Tue Apr 30, 2013 5:59 am

Lo_Pan_Fan wrote:
Mariner's Revenge wrote:There's a shelf right when you walk in that's at least shielded from direct air contact by a wall. There are also shelves outside the bathroom that some people use for mugs. There are options.


a mug or cup should not be in the bathroom at all, they don't belong there.


What about a Thermos bottle ?

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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby jersey cubs fan » Tue Apr 30, 2013 8:19 am

Lo_Pan_Fan wrote:
Mariner's Revenge wrote:There's a shelf right when you walk in that's at least shielded from direct air contact by a wall. There are also shelves outside the bathroom that some people use for mugs. There are options.


a mug or cup should not be in the bathroom at all, they don't belong there.


what about shower beers?
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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Exile on Waveland » Tue Apr 30, 2013 8:29 am

jersey cubs fan wrote:
Lo_Pan_Fan wrote:
Mariner's Revenge wrote:There's a shelf right when you walk in that's at least shielded from direct air contact by a wall. There are also shelves outside the bathroom that some people use for mugs. There are options.


a mug or cup should not be in the bathroom at all, they don't belong there.


what about shower beers?


If you're against shower beers (or mixed drinks), you're against America.
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David
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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby David » Tue Apr 30, 2013 8:39 am

love me some shower beers
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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby weis21 » Tue Apr 30, 2013 1:00 pm

Oh wow, haven't had a shower beer in some time. That sounds remarkably refreshing. Why have I done this to myself?

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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Pushfrog98 » Tue Apr 30, 2013 1:58 pm

Somebody keeps leaving "Chicken Strip Baskets" in one of the toilets. Been here a month now, and I've seen this 6 or 7 times now.

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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Stannis » Thu May 02, 2013 2:39 pm

jersey cubs fan wrote:
Lo_Pan_Fan wrote:
Mariner's Revenge wrote:There's a shelf right when you walk in that's at least shielded from direct air contact by a wall. There are also shelves outside the bathroom that some people use for mugs. There are options.


a mug or cup should not be in the bathroom at all, they don't belong there.


what about shower beers?


i should have qualified that as "public" bathrooms. i eat pizza on the can all the time, i'm a human centipede.
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mul21
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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby mul21 » Mon May 06, 2013 7:16 am

Pushfrog98 wrote:Somebody keeps leaving "Chicken Strip Baskets" in one of the toilets. Been here a month now, and I've seen this 6 or 7 times now.


Is chicken strip baskets a euphemism for something?
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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Pushfrog98 » Mon May 06, 2013 7:29 am

mul21 wrote:
Pushfrog98 wrote:Somebody keeps leaving "Chicken Strip Baskets" in one of the toilets. Been here a month now, and I've seen this 6 or 7 times now.


Is chicken strip baskets a euphemism for something?

They keep leaving chicken strip-like turds cradled on top of some TP. Looks like a chicken strip basket from DQ. No evidence of wiping, either, which is really disturbing.

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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Sammy Sofa » Mon May 06, 2013 8:54 am

Ah, I thought meant actual empty fast food baskets, which would have been much more disturbing.
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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby GammonsPocketTweets » Mon May 13, 2013 9:40 am

I'm going to leave an actual chicken strip basket in the restroom at work today, thanks.
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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Smack » Mon Jul 29, 2013 1:56 pm

I love how the industrial sized cans of air freshner in our bathrooms have such exotic names. Bill just spackled the back of the toilet in stall #3 with hot wings and Hamm's. It's ok though, a couple of blasts from the air freshner and the whole bathroom smells like 'Mango Paradise'.
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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby Pushfrog98 » Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:45 pm

Smack wrote:I love how the industrial sized cans of air freshner in our bathrooms have such exotic names. Bill just spackled the back of the toilet in stall #3 with hot wings and Hamm's. It's ok though, a couple of blasts from the air freshner and the whole bathroom smells like 'Mango Paradise'.

Mmmm... smells like Mango Paradise scented [expletive] in here.

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Re: [expletive] WORK THREAD

Postby kujay » Mon Aug 05, 2013 2:03 pm

Pushfrog98 wrote:
Smack wrote:I love how the industrial sized cans of air freshner in our bathrooms have such exotic names. Bill just spackled the back of the toilet in stall #3 with hot wings and Hamm's. It's ok though, a couple of blasts from the air freshner and the whole bathroom smells like 'Mango Paradise'.

Mmmm... smells like Mango Paradise scented [expletive] in here.


When I was a kid my dad would say, of the pine-flavored air fresheners in bathrooms, "it smells like someone [expletive] on a Christmas tree in here."

And I wonder why I'm a foul-mouthed puke.
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