Child abuse and bad sports parents

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Child abuse and bad sports parents

Postby jersey cubs fan » Thu Dec 10, 2015 10:05 am






My dad was almost always my coach in little league and my parents attended pretty much every game/match I ever had and were never anything like this type of crazy sports parent.


Obviously this type of thing goes well beyond just sports parents, but this is a sports related website so bite me.
Last edited by jersey cubs fan on Fri Dec 11, 2015 6:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
Tim wrote:"Hawthorne Effect". Basically, people improve their behavior if they know they're being watched. I'm a competitive cur, so having friends that are also doing it drives me to want to "win" daily/weekly challenges and such.

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Re: Bad sports parents

Postby Sammy's Boombox » Thu Dec 10, 2015 10:51 am

I've umpires hundreds of competitive travel baseball games from 9-year-olds to 18-year-olds. Bad sports parents suck. My dad was the complete opposite. If I had a bad game he would always point out the good things I did and always told me to enjoy the games no matter what because someday soon I won't get to play them anymore. Wish I had listened to him a little more.
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Re: Bad sports parents

Postby Ding Dong Johnson » Thu Dec 10, 2015 11:01 am

I have yelled at other parents many times over the years while coaching. I've sent out the "your kids are not allowed to listen to you during games so don't bother yelling at them like a lunatic" email several times, and many times I have followed up with specific parents by saying "you know that was directed at you, right?" Even as a fan I openly mock the harsh parents. Every time I hear something overly critical, I usually follow it up with an even louder "I think you're doing great".

I'm genuinely surprised they still want to have beers with me after games.
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Re: Bad sports parents

Postby biittner77 » Thu Dec 10, 2015 1:42 pm

Field Hockey parents are the worst. It's the hardest sport I've ever seen with regards to understanding the rules. Every year they add 5 new rules or change 7 already existing rules. The net effect of this is that the parents think they know the rules better than they actually do. As if that wasn't bad enough, rules are enforced differently in travel leagues than they are on the local level. So coaches, parents and players all have a different understanding of the rules than the referee. Everything is a foul on the other team. The ones that scream the whole time have plenty to scream about. The younger the players are, the worse it gets. For example, if the ball touches a players foot (really their leg below the knee) that player has committed a foul. When they're young, like 3rd grade, this happens a lot. So the referee can't call it every time. whenever they don't call it the parents of the opposing team lose their [expletive].
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Re: Bad sports parents

Postby rawaction » Thu Dec 10, 2015 5:26 pm

His @ starts with Real POS?

I haven't really dealt with a lot of the yelling, insane parents. What I see around here are parents, of very young kids, constantly nagging the coaches under their breath and saying how they could do a better job. Also, seem to be the parents that think their kids are "too good" for the other kids on the team and coach them quietly on the sideline/fence to go rouge and do whatever they want (blitz in football, go after a ball hit to 2B as the SS, guard the best player on defense even though not ordered to).

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Re: Bad sports parents

Postby jersey cubs fan » Thu Dec 10, 2015 5:29 pm

rawaction wrote:His @ starts with Real POS?

I haven't really dealt with a lot of the yelling, insane parents. What I see around here are parents, of very young kids, constantly nagging the coaches under their breath and saying how they could do a better job. Also, seem to be the parents that think their kids are "too good" for the other kids on the team and coach them quietly on the sideline/fence to go rouge and do whatever they want (blitz in football, go after a ball hit to 2B as the SS, guard the best player on defense even though not ordered to).


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Tim wrote:"Hawthorne Effect". Basically, people improve their behavior if they know they're being watched. I'm a competitive cur, so having friends that are also doing it drives me to want to "win" daily/weekly challenges and such.

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Re: Bad sports parents

Postby rawaction » Thu Dec 10, 2015 5:31 pm

[expletive]. Rogue.

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Re: Bad sports parents

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Thu Dec 10, 2015 7:04 pm

Was at my nieces soccer game between a nice suburb and a even more upscale suburb... the parents from both towns (including my SIL) going back and forth, but not actually directing words to each other but talking just loud enough to make sure the other parents heard... that was some awkward [expletive]. The mom from the other town went to take down the refs name after the game so she could report him lol.

They are 9 and 10.
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Re: Bad sports parents

Postby Derwood » Thu Dec 10, 2015 7:22 pm

Saw some 40 something men yelling at the 14 year old girl umps at my daughter's softball games. That was special

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Re: Bad sports parents

Postby weis21 » Thu Dec 10, 2015 8:29 pm

so much of this american population of parents are complete [expletive].

I umpired for a short time in pee wee (5-6 year olds mostly, I believe). I was the only umpire for the entire field. I constantly was berated by coaches and parents for missed calls (e.g. running out of the base line...THE BASE LINE..they are [expletive] five years old). I lasted a good part of one season and then called it quits. I was 17 I think? so just about half of my lifetime ago. the kids had no idea of what was going on other than just trying to have fun. they literally couldn't have given a [expletive] less if they won or lost. but a large population of the adults wanted to suck the fun out of such a simple and pure activity.
Last edited by weis21 on Fri Dec 11, 2015 9:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Bad sports parents

Postby minnesotacubsfan » Thu Dec 10, 2015 9:41 pm

My parents saw about 6 of my games from freshman - senior years. I was all conf / regional in both football and baseball. I don't remember it really bothering me. [expletive] parents today.
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Re: Bad sports parents

Postby Hairyducked Idiot » Fri Dec 11, 2015 12:01 am

If the world were a just place, yelling "THREE SECONDS!" at an amateur basketball game at any level would carry with it a prison sentence.

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Re: Child abuse and bad sports parents

Postby biittner77 » Fri Dec 11, 2015 8:58 am

I umpired a 9-10 game last summer. One team was winning by maybe 25 runs. The parents on that team were still complaining about the strikes I was calling on their team, which was essentially anything that could even remotely be considering a strike- a feat that happened perhaps every 6th pitch.

It was the last inning and they were the visitors so there was no run limit. I was hoping that after every kid on that team batted in that inning that the coach would let the other team bat. Nope. For a while, I really felt like the game might never end.
snoodmonger wrote:Schwarber dong was as swaggy a dong as you're gonna see, fellas. If he'd dropped the bat cleanly, it would've jumped up and flipped itself.

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Re: Child abuse and bad sports parents

Postby jersey cubs fan » Fri Dec 11, 2015 9:04 am

horrible sports parents over aggressively supporting little timmy's team makes for good stories, but I really recommend going back and reading the article posted by O'Sullivan, whose father beat the [expletive] out of him every day and whose community at best looked the other way and at worst accepted that type of treatment as the right way to develop a true elite athlete.
Tim wrote:"Hawthorne Effect". Basically, people improve their behavior if they know they're being watched. I'm a competitive cur, so having friends that are also doing it drives me to want to "win" daily/weekly challenges and such.

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Re: Child abuse and bad sports parents

Postby biittner77 » Fri Dec 11, 2015 9:26 am

jersey cubs fan wrote:horrible sports parents over aggressively supporting little timmy's team makes for good stories, but I really recommend going back and reading the article posted by O'Sullivan, whose father beat the [expletive] out of him every day and whose community at best looked the other way and at worst accepted that type of treatment as the right way to develop a true elite athlete.


Warning: reading the article will make you sad, angry and disgusted all at the same time.
snoodmonger wrote:Schwarber dong was as swaggy a dong as you're gonna see, fellas. If he'd dropped the bat cleanly, it would've jumped up and flipped itself.

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Re: Child abuse and bad sports parents

Postby BigbadB » Fri Dec 11, 2015 9:27 am

Seeing this thread for this first time this morning, I thought it was going to be about Adrian Peterson fumbling and losing the game and going home to beat his kid again. Glad it isn't, but still worried he may have.

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Re: Child abuse and bad sports parents

Postby NewUserName » Fri Dec 11, 2015 9:31 am

As someone who volunteer coaches youth football and baseball. The parents that are the worse are those who coach from the stands and those that ask their kid why so and so is playing and not him. First one is a huge distraction to his child while he is playing. The second one is creating animosity with teammates.
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Re: Child abuse and bad sports parents

Postby Derwood » Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:08 am

There's an interesting gray area when it comes to pushing your child to be the best vs letting him or her be a kid. When my daughter swam competitively, there was an 8 year old boy who was an amazing swimmer. He competed against 9 and 10 year olds and won. He set local YMCA records in nearly every event he swam.

It wasn't just natural talent, though. This kids father made him come to the YMCA every day before school to swim laps for an hour (in addition to another 90 minutes of practice each night). To me, that seemed like a lot for an 8 year old. Now I never saw any verbal abuse or "from the stands" coaching from the father, nor did I see any outward disappointment in second place finishes, so, as I said, it's a sort of fuzzy territory

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Re: Child abuse and bad sports parents

Postby mul21 » Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:18 am

Derwood wrote:There's an interesting gray area when it comes to pushing your child to be the best vs letting him or her be a kid. When my daughter swam competitively, there was an 8 year old boy who was an amazing swimmer. He competed against 9 and 10 year olds and won. He set local YMCA records in nearly every event he swam.

It wasn't just natural talent, though. This kids father made him come to the YMCA every day before school to swim laps for an hour (in addition to another 90 minutes of practice each night). To me, that seemed like a lot for an 8 year old. Now I never saw any verbal abuse or "from the stands" coaching from the father, nor did I see any outward disappointment in second place finishes, so, as I said, it's a sort of fuzzy territory


No it's not. There is never, ever any reason to wreck a kids childhood with that sort of schedule at that age. If he's going to be a great swimmer, he'll be a great swimmer regardless of the extra work. In fact, in a sport like swimming, you're probably stunting his ability to truly be great by working him that hard that young. Kids should be kids and play every sport they want to growing up and not specialize like many are forced to at such young ages. If they truly have an exceptional aptitude for a particular sport, it'll be very obvious without all that extra work. Now, once they hit high school and have figured out what that sport is, go for it and specialize, but it's so much better for developing bodies to not have that wear and tear on a particular set of muscles/ligaments/tendons by constantly exerting them by playing one sport all the time.
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Re: Child abuse and bad sports parents

Postby minnesotacubsfan » Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:25 am

jersey cubs fan wrote:horrible sports parents over aggressively supporting little timmy's team makes for good stories, but I really recommend going back and reading the article posted by O'Sullivan, whose father beat the [expletive] out of him every day and whose community at best looked the other way and at worst accepted that type of treatment as the right way to develop a true elite athlete.



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Re: Child abuse and bad sports parents

Postby jersey cubs fan » Fri Dec 11, 2015 10:41 am

mul21 wrote:
Derwood wrote:There's an interesting gray area when it comes to pushing your child to be the best vs letting him or her be a kid. When my daughter swam competitively, there was an 8 year old boy who was an amazing swimmer. He competed against 9 and 10 year olds and won. He set local YMCA records in nearly every event he swam.

It wasn't just natural talent, though. This kids father made him come to the YMCA every day before school to swim laps for an hour (in addition to another 90 minutes of practice each night). To me, that seemed like a lot for an 8 year old. Now I never saw any verbal abuse or "from the stands" coaching from the father, nor did I see any outward disappointment in second place finishes, so, as I said, it's a sort of fuzzy territory


No it's not. There is never, ever any reason to wreck a kids childhood with that sort of schedule at that age. If he's going to be a great swimmer, he'll be a great swimmer regardless of the extra work. In fact, in a sport like swimming, you're probably stunting his ability to truly be great by working him that hard that young. Kids should be kids and play every sport they want to growing up and not specialize like many are forced to at such young ages. If they truly have an exceptional aptitude for a particular sport, it'll be very obvious without all that extra work. Now, once they hit high school and have figured out what that sport is, go for it and specialize, but it's so much better for developing bodies to not have that wear and tear on a particular set of muscles/ligaments/tendons by constantly exerting them by playing one sport all the time.

not to mention it's [expletive] swimming and there's like 2 people who have ever made a decent career out of it.
Tim wrote:"Hawthorne Effect". Basically, people improve their behavior if they know they're being watched. I'm a competitive cur, so having friends that are also doing it drives me to want to "win" daily/weekly challenges and such.

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Re: Child abuse and bad sports parents

Postby Derwood » Fri Dec 11, 2015 11:06 am

It's not a career, but it's a path to an athletic scholarship (and getting a full ride at D-1 for swimming is exceptionally difficult)

But I agree that it's too much, especially at that age. If the kid doesn't end up hating swimming it'll be a miracle

For what it's worth, the kid is Asian, and the situation felt like a stereotypical "Asian parents expect kid to be #1 in everything" deal

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Re: Child abuse and bad sports parents

Postby Stannis » Sat Dec 12, 2015 11:45 am

Derwood wrote:It's not a career, but it's a path to an athletic scholarship (and getting a full ride at D-1 for swimming is exceptionally difficult)

But I agree that it's too much, especially at that age. If the kid doesn't end up hating swimming it'll be a miracle

For what it's worth, the kid is Asian, and the situation felt like a stereotypical "Asian parents expect kid to be #1 in everything" deal


A lot of kids don't enjoy things unless they're good at them, and how else do you get good at said things unless you practice. Kids are not great at disciplining themselves when it comes to practice.

Derwood's right, there's a line, and it's fine to push your kid.
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Re: Child abuse and bad sports parents

Postby jersey cubs fan » Sat Dec 12, 2015 2:02 pm

Stannis wrote:
Derwood wrote:It's not a career, but it's a path to an athletic scholarship (and getting a full ride at D-1 for swimming is exceptionally difficult)

But I agree that it's too much, especially at that age. If the kid doesn't end up hating swimming it'll be a miracle

For what it's worth, the kid is Asian, and the situation felt like a stereotypical "Asian parents expect kid to be #1 in everything" deal


A lot of kids don't enjoy things unless they're good at them, and how else do you get good at said things unless you practice. Kids are not great at disciplining themselves when it comes to practice.

Derwood's right, there's a line, and it's fine to push your kid.

not 8 year olds, dude.
Tim wrote:"Hawthorne Effect". Basically, people improve their behavior if they know they're being watched. I'm a competitive cur, so having friends that are also doing it drives me to want to "win" daily/weekly challenges and such.

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Re: Child abuse and bad sports parents

Postby Sammy Sofa » Sat Dec 12, 2015 2:05 pm

There's also the jagoffs who flip out over the idea of everyone getting some kind of trophy. Calm down, you shaved apes; most of those kids hate that they're being made to do this, and a little hunk of plastic for them at the end of it isn't the end of the [expletive] world.


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