Six month old here, but he's taking oxygen at night, pre-cautionary, because his windpipe is growing in a little tight. All the growth and everything has been fine, kid's a champ, but reading about all the ventilator shortages and people not catching their breath for two weeks freaked us the horsefeathers out. Dealing with that, and how to deal with our families around all this, has honestly been the most frustrating part. Feeling like you're asking them some huge favor to take a little more precaution than normal (even though the parents are all over 60), and then on the flip side feeling like the world's biggest horsefeathers telling your parents they can't hold their first grandkid. All the while me and my wife both working from home with him already crawling into every sharp corner he can find, knowing my mom has offered multiple times to come watch him. Fun horsefeathering times man.
Setting aside the science and the levels of precaution and all that, I think Judas touched on the more important point, which has been tough for me too with it being the first kid. It's your kid, you set the rules, and everyone should respect them regardless of how overcautious they might seem to someone.
Yeah, this is our second. We've got a two year old as well. She used to go to my parents twice a week, and my in-laws once a week. So they all got lots of time with her. It's been heartbreaking when she wants to go see them and we have to tell her she can't. And there's no good way to explain it to her right now in a way that wont just scare her.
And of course, the grandparents all want to see her as well. At one point they were all trying to convince us we should let them watch the older girl even if they can't see the younger. That makes no sense, of course. If the two year old gets sick, you better believe everybody in the house will get sick.
I handled setting the boundaries with my family well. I simply told them that my daughters' safety is my only priority as a parent. And while I'd love for them to be happy too, if I can't manage that in a way that doesn't interfere with their safety then it's just not a priority.
They weren't necessarily happy. My dad had already booked an appointment with his barber. But he cancelled it and bought one of those silly informercial devices to cut your own hair with a vacuum. He'll look stupid for a couple months, but he gets to see his granddaughter. That's what was important to him.
But my in-laws... their priority has always been themselves. And if my wife (and by extension my daughters and I) aren't catering to their every whim then we aren't being reasonable in their eyes. My wife has always insisted on being the one to communicate boundaries to them -- and the timid way in which she does it seems to be why they just ignore her. And when they do so it's suddenly too uncomfortable for her to handle with grace, so we capitulate as often as not.
It's getting to the point that I'm going to have to start taking point on this stuff if she can't begin to assert herself. They already don't like me, so I don't really care.
Scary stuff dealing with respiratory distress during this. My daughter had a nasty cough from November - March that required albuterol before bedtime (something about cold weather and dry air, I guess). But I can't imagine needing to be on oxygen during this. I'm sorry you're going through that.