Work Jerks

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Re: Work Jerks

Postby Sammy Sofa » Wed Jul 21, 2021 6:39 pm

Virginia schlubs are PFG all the way!
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby jersey cubs fan » Wed Jul 21, 2021 6:44 pm

Ding Dong Johnson wrote:
jersey cubs fan wrote:If my office ever tries to make me go back into the office I will wear the most obnoxious horsefeathers possible until they reverse that decision.

Might I suggest a fedora with safari flaps?

Me the first time back in the office

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Re: Work Jerks

Postby Sammy Sofa » Wed Jul 21, 2021 6:47 pm

Jersey in his first staff meeting:

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Re: Work Jerks

Postby JudasIscariotTheBird » Wed Jul 21, 2021 6:49 pm

What I wore to work today:
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Work Jerks

Postby minnesotacubsfan » Sat Jul 24, 2021 4:15 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:Even then I didn't have to resort to shirts with a horsefeathering cape.

Maybe you aren't a superhero

But honestly, I totally agree fishing shirts are hideous. Out here, where whatever outdoorsy thing you are into define you as a person, Orvis, Redington, Sage is prominently displayed at every meeting. It's annoying. And yes I fly fish, surf (both poorly), snowboard, but I don't throw my Ride gear in anyone's face
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby minnesotacubsfan » Sat Jul 24, 2021 4:21 pm

Next staffing mtg I'm going to stroll in decked out in my 5/4 wetsuit, hood, gloves and shoes just to keep up
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby stitchface » Tue Jul 27, 2021 9:23 pm

"giving you xx minutes of your life back" when a meeting ends early. Stop using this.
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Tue Jul 27, 2021 10:43 pm

stitchface wrote:"giving you xx minutes of your life back" when a meeting ends early. Stop using this.

"Your life" is very bad. "x minutes of your day" back at least leaves vague the fact it's your employer's time and not your own.

I've definitely been guilty of the latter.
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby javy knows my name » Tue Jul 27, 2021 10:51 pm

WrigleyField 22 wrote:
stitchface wrote:"giving you xx minutes of your life back" when a meeting ends early. Stop using this.

"Your life" is very bad. "x minutes of your day" back at least leaves vague the fact it's your employer's time and not your own.

I've definitely been guilty of the latter.


Both are self-congratulating for ending a meeting early and thus both suck
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby Derwood » Wed Jul 28, 2021 12:08 am

I’ve heard my wife use that phrase during Zoom meetings (ugh)
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Wed Jul 28, 2021 2:57 am

javy knows my name wrote:
WrigleyField 22 wrote:
stitchface wrote:"giving you xx minutes of your life back" when a meeting ends early. Stop using this.

"Your life" is very bad. "x minutes of your day" back at least leaves vague the fact it's your employer's time and not your own.

I've definitely been guilty of the latter.


Both are self-congratulating for ending a meeting early and thus both suck

Truthfully it's often meant to be more self depreciating when I realized I blocked off 30 minutes for a call that lasted 10 minutes and clearly could have been an email. But I realize it doesn't come off like that, and yes, I am the horsefeathers.
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby jersey cubs fan » Wed Jul 28, 2021 3:01 am

Props to any client who gives me back 20 minutes of my day. You’re all heroes. All calls could and should end early. Use any phrase you want to get off the call.
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby grassbass » Wed Jul 28, 2021 12:43 pm

jersey cubs fan wrote:Props to any client who gives me back 20 minutes of my day. You’re all heroes. All calls could and should end early. Use any phrase you want to get off the call.


One of the few things I pride myself on is meeting efficiency.

My current organization's biggest flaw is that everyone calls a meeting for everything and probably 75% of them run over the scheduled time, which makes people late for their next (most likely unnecessary) meeting.

Have an agenda, stick to it, make note of any resulting action items, thank everyone for their time, end the meeting.
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby Derwood » Wed Jul 28, 2021 1:01 pm

grassbass wrote:
jersey cubs fan wrote:Props to any client who gives me back 20 minutes of my day. You’re all heroes. All calls could and should end early. Use any phrase you want to get off the call.


One of the few things I pride myself on is meeting efficiency.

My current organization's biggest flaw is that everyone calls a meeting for everything and probably 75% of them run over the scheduled time, which makes people late for their next (most likely unnecessary) meeting.

Have an agenda, stick to it, make note of any resulting action items, thank everyone for their time, end the meeting.


Keeping it on track is the biggest thing. Tell people to keep discussing the little things on their own time, don’t let it derail the whole thing
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby CubinNY » Wed Jul 28, 2021 2:27 pm

Very few group work meetings should last more than 15 minutes. Anything over that is puffery. However, as a manager sometimes it's good to have a little longer 1:1 meeting if everyone is remote, just to check in with the employee. But even then 5-10 minutes is usually enough.
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby SouthSideRyan » Wed Jul 28, 2021 2:45 pm

Don't tell me to enjoy my weekend if we don't talk again on a horsefeathering Tuesday.
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby grassbass » Wed Jul 28, 2021 3:45 pm

CubinNY wrote:Very few group work meetings should last more than 15 minutes. Anything over that is puffery. However, as a manager sometimes it's good to have a little longer 1:1 meeting if everyone is remote, just to check in with the employee. But even then 5-10 minutes is usually enough.


I don't think that a blanket statement like that is applicable to all industries and workplaces. I do software project management along with business analysis on multiple projects for my organization. We have meetings ranging from quick standups, to requirements workshops, to release demos and trainings, and everything in between. Some of those meetings have to be longer (and may have to span multiple meetings) due to the amount of information being covered, while others can and should be quick.

One on one meetings with employees can obviously be fairly quick most of the time, especially if they happen on a recurring basis.
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby Thed Hoyerstein » Wed Jul 28, 2021 3:56 pm

jersey cubs fan wrote: Use any phrase you want to get off the call.


again, not that kind of work jerks
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby CubinNY » Wed Jul 28, 2021 4:44 pm

grassbass wrote:
CubinNY wrote:Very few group work meetings should last more than 15 minutes. Anything over that is puffery. However, as a manager sometimes it's good to have a little longer 1:1 meeting if everyone is remote, just to check in with the employee. But even then 5-10 minutes is usually enough.


I don't think that a blanket statement like that is applicable to all industries and workplaces. I do software project management along with business analysis on multiple projects for my organization. We have meetings ranging from quick standups, to requirements workshops, to release demos and trainings, and everything in between. Some of those meetings have to be longer (and may have to span multiple meetings) due to the amount of information being covered, while others can and should be quick.

One on one meetings with employees can obviously be fairly quick most of the time, especially if they happen on a recurring basis.

Workshops, demos, and training are not meetings. It's also why I said, "very few".
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby grassbass » Wed Jul 28, 2021 4:48 pm

CubinNY wrote:
grassbass wrote:
CubinNY wrote:Very few group work meetings should last more than 15 minutes. Anything over that is puffery. However, as a manager sometimes it's good to have a little longer 1:1 meeting if everyone is remote, just to check in with the employee. But even then 5-10 minutes is usually enough.


I don't think that a blanket statement like that is applicable to all industries and workplaces. I do software project management along with business analysis on multiple projects for my organization. We have meetings ranging from quick standups, to requirements workshops, to release demos and trainings, and everything in between. Some of those meetings have to be longer (and may have to span multiple meetings) due to the amount of information being covered, while others can and should be quick.

One on one meetings with employees can obviously be fairly quick most of the time, especially if they happen on a recurring basis.

Workshops, demos, and training are not meetings. It's also why I said, "very few".


Not to split hairs here, but they absolutely are meetings. They all require me to meet with one or more people to go over a topic or series of topics and typically there are action items at the end.
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby NOLA » Wed Jul 28, 2021 4:58 pm

And here I thought this thread was going to be about Jeffrey Toobin.
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby The Logan » Sun Oct 31, 2021 12:51 pm

So back in March I took a full-time job working in a camera store which, honestly, has been the best. I'm a gear nerd, so it's right up my alley and all my co-workers, boss included, are the nicest down-to-earth people and we all get along great. Most of the customers are, too, however this job, as my co-worker put it, has the craziest customers of any retail job. Because photography and videography have such huge egos attached to it, our problem customers are REALLY bad.

Our rental department requires a deposit/authorization hold for the replacement value of the item that gets voided when returned. This authorization can take a day or two to return if it's a credit card, and 3-5 business days if it's a debit card. Some girls came in and didn't understand this and only thought they had to pay the rental price for a lens, swiped their moms debit card, realized it was going to hold $1,000, demanded we void it, which we did, and then got pissed when the funds weren't immediately back in the account. We informed them why they weren't there and they spent the next two hours calling banks and complaining to our manager who wasn't working that day, and I heard them say "He was so nonchalant about it and the manager was very rude to me" when those are like the antithesis of what those two people are. Like there was literally nothing we could do and they were pissed that we had the audacity to do this to them when it's in our rental agreement that they sign and we explain to them in person and over the phone.

There are also people who do understand the deposit who say "Why would I give you that much money to rent it and not just buy it". And they can't wrap their heads around the fact that they will get that money back, so they're not actually buying it. They just want to give us $100 to rent a $5000 camera with no safeguards in place on our end. They think deposits are actual purchases and it's really dumb.

We also had this wackadoo nutjob customer who spent two hours renting a lens from us and talking all kind of crazy nonsense with our newest hire, then a day later sent a crazy long email telling us he wasn't hitting on her because he doesn't like women, then when he missed his rental return date, sent an angry email that was a giant run-on sentence saying things like "You all have analog brains and I have a digital brain" basically saying he's not going to give us back the lens which like... okay cool but we have your deposit for people like you who steal our horsefeathers.

Another customer came in demanding a specific camera in a specific color, which we had trouble tracking down, which happens, but we found it, and because it took so long he demanded we throw in a $1,000 lens for free and got really angry and pissy about it because he thinks he deserves special treatment. He said our other co-worker put it aside for him and our co-worker said "No he didn't he came in and said 'One day that camera is going to be mine' and he walked out" and he didn't leave any info required to hold the item. Started making demands for free things.

I had a customer demand I give him discounts on items that have MSRP's which, as I'm sure many of you who have worked in retail may know, you can't give discounts on because those prices are set by them not us. He was buying the entry-level full-frame camera from Sony, which like a hundred people have bought from us over the last year and he was like "I'm spending all this money and you're not gonna give me a free extra battery?" Like horsefeathers no, guy. The camera comes with one battery. You want another one you gotta pay for it. "you're gonna charge me full price for this battery after I spent this much money on the camera?" Yeah, guy, I don't set the prices. Customers who think they're entitled because they are spending a lot of their money are the worst horsefeathering people on the planet, IMO. They think they're special and they're not. We got people coming in buying cameras 3 times that price who don't bat an eye when we say an extra battery costs $80. Deal with it. These are the same people who complain about what the cameras are packaged with as if we were the ones who made it. "How are you gonna sell me a camera with one battery!?" Bitch I'm not, Sony is. Send them a letter.

The customers who don't listen when we tell them timetables on things like film development or repair turnaround. A customer dropped off a light 6 days ago, and we tell folks it could take 3 weeks minimum before it gets back to us and they called impatient and upset like "Has my light been fixed yet?". Did you not listen at all when we took it in? It's probably not even there yet and you want it magically fixed? Our development lab is very slow and, close to a 3-4 week turnaround. And we have to ship it out every Wednesday to our lab on our transfer truck. They'll drop off on a Friday, and call on a Monday asking if it's done yet and it hasn't even left the building. And then when we don't have a specific type of film they act like it's our fault there's a raw materials and chemicals shortage that doesn't allow Kodak to make their film anymore.

And then there are the customers who call to see if we have an item in, which we do, then they show up a week later to buy it and it's sold and they act as we wronged them in some way. "Of course you sold that item when I came into buy it. You said you had it last week, why don't you have it today?" Because, horsefeathers, people buy horsefeathers at a camera store and we're not horsefeathering Amazon where we cater to a global market. We had one of those cameras, someone bought it. Case closed, [expletive].

Also, with the exception of one customer who represents one of the churches in the area, most of the non-profit tax exempt religious organizations are horsefeathers. These two walked in looking for a specific camera which they don't make anymore, so I directed them towards the replacement camera, which was like a $5,500 camera. And they kept leaning in and whispering to me "Listen ,we're going to need a really good deal on this camera" and I kept saying "It's $5,500 set by the manufacturer I can't change that" and they kept insisting I give them a good deal because they're a church and they deserve it. Like listen up, [expletive], you're tax-exempt, and in Chicago that means you're saving nearly $560 on taxes on that camera. That's your horsefeathering discount which, to me, seems like a pretty sweet horsefeathering deal. They were Spanish and got mad and started saying things to each other in Spanish and my manager said later "I speak a little Spanish... they were not saying nice things about you" all because I wouldn't change the pricing on the MSRP on something they are already saving $500 on. Keep pretending you're Christ-like fellas. Nothing pisses me off more than religious people who used their religion for benefits and act the complete opposite of how their religion teaches them to act. They can all eat horsefeathers.
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby UK » Wed Jan 05, 2022 7:32 pm

I would like to nominate my place of employment..

Who decided that now if you get COVID regardless of vaccination status, will have to use PTO during the recovery.
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby Tryptamine » Wed Jan 05, 2022 7:40 pm

UK wrote:I would like to nominate my place of employment..

Who decided that now if you get COVID regardless of vaccination status, will have to use PTO during the recovery.


The second the FFCRA ended most local places did. Employers, especially corporations, don't care.. It's like my sister's employer. She's a cardiac stroke nurse, she has tested positive twice on rapid tests but can't get a PCR until tomorrow. They told her to just come to her shift tomorrow if she doesn't have a fever. They don't care about her or the patients, they just want someone there regardless of impact.
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Re: Work Jerks

Postby Sammy Sofa » Wed Jan 05, 2022 8:11 pm

UK wrote:I would like to nominate my place of employment..

Who decided that now if you get COVID regardless of vaccination status, will have to use PTO during the recovery.


That's been here ever since the CARES act expired over a year ago.
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