Murder - Domestic Abuse

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Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby NonProfitCow » Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:55 am

A woman who worked for me recently was murdered by a guy I worked with 4-5 years ago.

They got into it a few nights ago and he beat her to death. The end.

The people bending over backwards trying to justify it because she was "crazy" and/or "he's not like that" is horsefeathering sickening.

http://www.news-leader.com/story/news/c ... /98630702/


I feel I could have helped her. My GF offered for her to stay with us. I didn't know it as bad as it was. This is as hard as it gets, because I really think I could have changed it. She was here 3-4 weeks ago.
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby jersey cubs fan » Sat Mar 04, 2017 4:56 am

Holy horsefeathers I am so sorry to hear that.

Please don't beat yourself up.
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby Ding Dong Johnson » Sat Mar 04, 2017 5:03 am

yes, what jersey said
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby TBS Playoffs Insider » Sat Mar 04, 2017 5:05 am

If you have a female friend who is in an abusive relationship, you owe it to them to strongly urge them to leave. If you look at murder statistics, a high high high high high percentage of women killed by men are partners or former partners with at least one domestic abuse complaint in their past.

obviously that's easier said than done, and I've failed there numerous times. it seems so obvious in retrospect.
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby Derwood » Sat Mar 04, 2017 5:16 am

Or they hurt the kids. We had a tragedy in my wife's family related to this last year and it was beyond horrific
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby NonProfitCow » Sat Mar 04, 2017 5:21 am

TBS Playoffs Insider wrote:If you have a female friend who is in an abusive relationship, you owe it to them to strongly urge them to leave. If you look at murder statistics, a high high high high high percentage of women killed by men are partners or former partners with at least one domestic abuse complaint in their past.

obviously that's easier said than done, and I've failed there numerous times. it seems so obvious in retrospect.

That's what's killing me. We offered our spare bedroom, rent free, etc. I told her if he hit her before, he'll hit her again, and that's before I even knew who it was.

This is just such a horsefeathers feeling, I don't have the words.
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby TBS Playoffs Insider » Sat Mar 04, 2017 5:33 am

NonProfitCow wrote:
TBS Playoffs Insider wrote:If you have a female friend who is in an abusive relationship, you owe it to them to strongly urge them to leave. If you look at murder statistics, a high high high high high percentage of women killed by men are partners or former partners with at least one domestic abuse complaint in their past.

obviously that's easier said than done, and I've failed there numerous times. it seems so obvious in retrospect.

That's what's killing me. We offered our spare bedroom, rent free, etc. I told her if he hit her before, he'll hit her again, and that's before I even knew who it was.

This is just such a horsefeathers feeling, I don't have the words.


I lost my brother to suicide. I knew it would happen. Every time I would call him and he didn't answer I would think "oh god here it is," but he would always eventually call back. Still I did nothing, and one day he killed himself. It always seems so easy to do when you look back but it never really is.
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby NonProfitCow » Sat Mar 04, 2017 5:40 am

Looking back, I feel so horsefeathering stupid.

Val was a bit of a train wreck, so when she would call in and then show up after a couple of days with a black eye saying she got into it with a girl downtown, I'd let it slide. I believed her.

When we'd get off early and I'd take everyone on my boat to the lake, but she wouldn't get in the water because she just had her hair done, ok.

Now, it's obvious. The black eye was from her BF, and she didn't swim with us because she was covered in bruises.

I'm smart. How the horsefeathers did I not knw?
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby NonProfitCow » Sat Mar 04, 2017 5:43 am

TBS Playoffs Insider wrote:I lost my brother to suicide. I knew it would happen. Every time I would call him and he didn't answer I would think "oh god here it is," but he would always eventually call back. Still I did nothing, and one day he killed himself. It always seems so easy to do when you look back but it never really is.

I'm so sorry to hear that man.
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby davell » Sat Mar 04, 2017 7:52 am

Holy crap. So sorry. Please don't blame yourself.
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby MWV » Sat Mar 04, 2017 8:33 am

My condolences, NPC.
As clear as things may seem in retrospect, you obviously weren't the only person to overlook the warning signs.
It can be hard to recognize the worst case scenario until it occurs.
You acted in good faith. It's not right to blame yourself.
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby Derwood » Sat Mar 04, 2017 12:56 pm

NonProfitCow wrote:Looking back, I feel so horsefeathering stupid.

Val was a bit of a train wreck, so when she would call in and then show up after a couple of days with a black eye saying she got into it with a girl downtown, I'd let it slide. I believed her.

When we'd get off early and I'd take everyone on my boat to the lake, but she wouldn't get in the water because she just had her hair done, ok.

Now, it's obvious. The black eye was from her BF, and she didn't swim with us because she was covered in bruises.

I'm smart. How the horsefeathers did I not knw?


Because we reject the idea that someone could be that cruel to another human being, and we want to believe the excuses. That doesn't make you a bad person
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby Omar » Tue Mar 14, 2017 2:06 am

I went through a very similar thing 5 years ago.

My manager at Home Depot murdered one of my coworkers he was dating.

I was on pretty good terms with Brian Cooper (the killer) too, who was always happy, always preached positivism and the law of attraction. Nobody ever saw this coming.

She was 6 months pregnant too. All around tragedy.
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby jersey cubs fan » Tue Mar 14, 2017 2:18 am

Omar wrote:I went through a very similar thing 5 years ago.

My manager at Home Depot murdered one of my coworkers he was dating.

I was on pretty good terms with Brian Cooper (the killer) too, who was always happy, always preached positivism and the law of attraction. Nobody ever saw this coming.

She was 6 months pregnant too. All around tragedy.

If I knew anybody that always preached the law of attraction I would assume that person was insane and capable of terrible things.
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby Omar » Tue Mar 14, 2017 3:02 am

Except Oprah, of course.
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby Proven Veteran » Tue Mar 14, 2017 5:20 am

Can we all agree not to let omc into this thread? Holy horsefeathers.
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby Careless » Mon Apr 17, 2017 3:58 am

TBS Playoffs Insider wrote:If you have a female friend who is in an abusive relationship, you owe it to them to strongly urge them to leave. If you look at murder statistics, a high high high high high percentage of women killed by men are partners or former partners with at least one domestic abuse complaint in their past.

obviously that's easier said than done, and I've failed there numerous times. it seems so obvious in retrospect.

You've had numerous female friends murdered by abusive SOs? wow.
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Re: Murder - Domestic Abuse

Postby TBS Playoffs Insider » Mon Apr 17, 2017 4:04 am

Careless wrote:
TBS Playoffs Insider wrote:If you have a female friend who is in an abusive relationship, you owe it to them to strongly urge them to leave. If you look at murder statistics, a high high high high high percentage of women killed by men are partners or former partners with at least one domestic abuse complaint in their past.

obviously that's easier said than done, and I've failed there numerous times. it seems so obvious in retrospect.

You've had numerous female friends murdered by abusive SOs? wow.


You are an extremely dumb person
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