Work Jerks

[Ding Dong Johnson]

I just remembered the girl I worked with that dated my best friend that got cancer after he dumped her. then she went to wisconsin for a weekend to see her uncle, a doctor that specializes in the super rare cancer she had. she was cured and didn't have to lose her hair "like other cancer people".

also she used to tell him she couldn't get pregnant and it made her sad. she has since had a child with someone else.

[SouthSideRyan]

- would get giant ink stains all over his pants (from pens)

very helpful clarification, but at the same time, disappointing lack of vowel(s)

My brain adjusted it for me

[Sammy Sofa]

I just remembered the girl I worked with that dated my best friend that got cancer after he dumped her. then she went to wisconsin for a weekend to see her uncle, a doctor that specializes in the super rare cancer she had. she was cured and didn't have to lose her hair "like other cancer people".

[biittner77]

This thread makes me feel extremely lucky that the only thing I have to worry about is an office that gets too hot to work in with the door shut and the resulting noise/interruptions of working with the door open

This reminds me of one of my former colleagues, a ridiculous person who tried to claim that a degree from Salisbury University was more prestigious than one from Columbia since Salisbury's class requirement was more "rigorous". She got some cushy board of ed job in another county but wasn't too busy to send us an email to say "I'm sitting here in my office, looking out my window and thinking about how I miss my friends."

Last time any of my friends actually heard from her.

[PosterToBeNamedLater]

This reminds me of one of my former colleagues, a ridiculous person who tried to claim that a degree from Salisbury University was more prestigious than one from Columbia

Well, Salisbury is the Harvard of the West.

[jersey cubs fan]

This reminds me of one of my former colleagues, a ridiculous person who tried to claim that a degree from Salisbury University was more prestigious than one from Columbia

Well, Salisbury is the Harvard of the West.

This reminds me when I worked in a restaurant and the Salisbury steak was just three kids burgers formed into an oval.

[biittner77]

This reminds me of one of my former colleagues, a ridiculous person who tried to claim that a degree from Salisbury University was more prestigious than one from Columbia

Well, Salisbury is the Harvard of the West.

This reminds me when I worked in a restaurant and the Salisbury steak was just three kids burgers formed into an oval.

True story, I once overheard a conversation while waiting for a flight into Salisbury where 2 guys were discussing where to go for good Salisbury steak.

At the golf course, I reheated left over burgers in brown gravy (sadly, I knew not of thick onion gravy) and called it salisbury steak. The old guys loved it.

[Forgotmyoldlogin]

At my office we have our own desks but since I work nights and my desk is in a pretty prime location (not a lot of people walking by, good window view) one of the day shift workers will usually take my desk until I get there. I don't really mind this except that some of the people I work with are such slobs. There's almost always food crumbs or dirty dishes from the break room sitting on my desk when I come in. It's super annoying. Then one time I was coming in early for some OT and I left a note on my monitor the night before and someone decided to sit in my seat anyways.

I'm also really good about managing my time and getting all of my work done, and it's cool because my boss doesn't care if we stream games or movies or whatever as long as our work gets done. But other people will sit there doing NOTHING all night, then right before closing time they'll realize how far behind they are and they'll ask me to help them out. I usually do because I'm not a dick, but one time I said no and for that I got labeled as "not a team player."

[Sammy Sofa]

I swear, the nail clippers in the office are multiplying. Since complaining about the first guy, I am pretty sure there are 4-5 people now doing it in total. It's like that one maniac unleashed a fresh hell of other maniacs thinking this is acceptable.

[David]

I swear, the nail clippers in the office are multiplying. Since complaining about the first guy, I am pretty sure there are 4-5 people now doing it in total. It's like that one maniac unleashed a fresh hell of other maniacs thinking this is acceptable.

This sounds sociopathic. Who the hell would think, "I'm gonna start doing this nail clipping thing at the office! Max efficiency!"

[Sammy Sofa]

Maybe they're over-viatmined or something. If I had to guess, I'd say I cut my fingernails about every 10 days or so...maybe once a week at the most. Some of these people are doing a full on, 10-finger cut twice in the work week.

[Derwood]

The best time to cut your nails is right after you shower. At the office?

These are the same monsters who shave in the car on the way to work.

[mul21]

My current boss is a republican wank that I've had issues with intermittently over the last couple of years. I got to tell him to piss off yesterday when I gave my 2 weeks notice and I'm going to dump truck him so bad in my exit interview with his boss. It's going to be so damn liberating.

[Rob]

One of my coworkers has decided that I'm just too smart to not be a Republican, so she keeps bringing me her mailers from Judicial Watch and trying to get me to read them.

It would be easier to ignore it, but I'm reading them all and then breaking down for her how ridiculous they all are.

[Sammy Sofa]

I walked by the Maximum Slob in the office this morning, and he had a q-tip buried, no joke, at least halfway its length into his ear. Just lazily twisting it back and forth as he stared blankly at his computer screens.

At least now it makes sense why the music in his headphones is so horsefeathering loud.

[minnesotacubsfan]

I walked by the Maximum Slob in the office this morning, and he had a q-tip buried, no joke, at least halfway its length into his ear. Just lazily twisting it back and forth as he stared blankly at his computer screens.

At least now it makes sense why the music in his headphones is so horsefeathering loud.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT A SECOND

you get multiple computer screens? how much porn can one man handle?

[Derwood]

I walked by the Maximum Slob in the office this morning, and he had a q-tip buried, no joke, at least halfway its length into his ear. Just lazily twisting it back and forth as he stared blankly at his computer screens.

At least now it makes sense why the music in his headphones is so horsefeathering loud.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT A SECOND

you get multiple computer screens? how much porn can one man handle?

I was more surprised that government workers were at the office

[Cubswin11]

I walked by the Maximum Slob in the office this morning, and he had a q-tip buried, no joke, at least halfway its length into his ear. Just lazily twisting it back and forth as he stared blankly at his computer screens.

At least now it makes sense why the music in his headphones is so horsefeathering loud.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT A SECOND

you get multiple computer screens? how much porn can one man handle?

I was more surprised that government workers were at the office

Sofa is just plotting some long con scheme during the shut down so when all the shoes drop he becomes president

[minnesotacubsfan]

I dont think Sofa works directly for the gov't, I think he's a consultant and therefor not subject to the shutdown. However, he claims to have news TV on all over the office which makes me think he's working as a rental spi, hiding out in some Soviet enclave with satellite services.

His portrait from FB:

[minnesotacubsfan]

no wonder he hates nail clippers

[Sammy Sofa]

I walked by the Maximum Slob in the office this morning, and he had a q-tip buried, no joke, at least halfway its length into his ear. Just lazily twisting it back and forth as he stared blankly at his computer screens.

At least now it makes sense why the music in his headphones is so horsefeathering loud.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT A SECOND

you get multiple computer screens? how much porn can one man handle?

I was more surprised that government workers were at the office

I'm not surprised Derwood has a had a month to hear someone mention that the shutdown is only impacting approx. 25% of the federal government and....didn't.

[Sammy Sofa]

I dont think Sofa works directly for the gov't, I think he's a consultant and therefor not subject to the shutdown.

Sadly, there are a bunch of contractors out of work while this is going on, and unlike those employed directly by the government, a ton of them won't have any backpay waiting for them.

[Derwood]

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT A SECOND

you get multiple computer screens? how much porn can one man handle?

I was more surprised that government workers were at the office

I'm not surprised Derwood has a had a month to hear someone mention that the shutdown is only impacting approx. 25% of the federal government and....didn't.

This guy gets jokes

[Sammy Sofa]

You really shouldn't be admitting that kind of thing.

[minnesotacubsfan]

I dont think Sofa works directly for the gov't, I think he's a consultant and therefor not subject to the shutdown.

Sadly, there are a bunch of contractors out of work while this is going on, and unlike those employed directly by the government, a ton of them won't have any backpay waiting for them.

Well that sucks. At least you got a nice fur hat out of t he deal