My son attempted patricide

We Got The Whole 9
All-Star
Posts: 4267
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2016 2:38 am
x 694

My son attempted patricide

Postby We Got The Whole 9 » Tue Sep 08, 2020 9:35 pm

As if it wasn't enough that my twins are presumably getting their molars now and my son lumbers around moaning like a Tarzan/Frankenstein hybrid in the daytime and sleeps in 30 minute intervals disrupted by hellacious bloody murder howls. Most of you guys have been through this but I figured I would ask what sort of physical damage you have incurred at the hands of your offspring. My son was just climbing on me while I was Facetiming with my wife and he stepped on my throat and shifted my windpipe so much so that I feel it when I swallow, 2 hours after the fact. Now its i who is in misery.

Well played, kid.
1 x

User avatar
Hairyducked Idiot
Kyle in disguise
Posts: 35331
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2004 2:42 pm
Location: GRIP IT AND RIP IT
x 2429
x 2935

Re: My son attempted patricide

Postby Hairyducked Idiot » Tue Sep 08, 2020 9:39 pm

My answers probably aren't as funny as everyone else's.
2 x

User avatar
Derwood
Stall Monitor
Posts: 72703
Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2003 4:44 pm
Location: 375 Miles East of Wrigley
x 1464
x 3196

Re: My son attempted patricide

Postby Derwood » Tue Sep 08, 2020 9:40 pm

My kids didn’t do much physical damage (outside of the old “top of head into my jaw” maneuver). Potty training with my younger one was prolonged mental torture
0 x

User avatar
WrigleyField 22
Superstar
Posts: 14436
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2003 10:48 pm
Location: hnderstabxcwhsg
x 2642
x 1633

Re: My son attempted patricide

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Tue Sep 08, 2020 9:50 pm

We Got The Whole 9 wrote:As if it wasn't enough that my twins are presumably getting their molars now and my son lumbers around moaning like a Tarzan/Frankenstein hybrid in the daytime and sleeps in 30 minute intervals disrupted by hellacious bloody murder howls. Most of you guys have been through this but I figured I would ask what sort of physical damage you have incurred at the hands of your offspring. My son was just climbing on me while I was Facetiming with my wife and he stepped on my throat and shifted my windpipe so much so that I feel it when I swallow, 2 hours after the fact. Now its i who is in misery.

Well played, kid.

My almost 2 year old was getting pretty rough climbing on me last night. I wasn't even trying to protect the windpipe. Thanks for the heads up.
0 x
Image

User avatar
Banedon
Curse You!
Posts: 68197
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2003 9:36 pm
Location: Kidding Myself
x 6829
x 6579

Re: My son attempted patricide

Postby Banedon » Tue Sep 08, 2020 11:10 pm

I don't remember how old my son was...4 or 5 maybe....we were at the putt putt and he swung his putter like it was a driver, catching me in the head. Fortunately he had no power, and it was pretty minor. Also my wife was zero help as she was nearly falling over in laughter.
1 x

We Got The Whole 9
All-Star
Posts: 4267
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2016 2:38 am
x 694

Re: RE: Re: My son attempted patricide

Postby We Got The Whole 9 » Wed Sep 09, 2020 3:04 am

WrigleyField 22 wrote:
We Got The Whole 9 wrote:As if it wasn't enough that my twins are presumably getting their molars now and my son lumbers around moaning like a Tarzan/Frankenstein hybrid in the daytime and sleeps in 30 minute intervals disrupted by hellacious bloody murder howls. Most of you guys have been through this but I figured I would ask what sort of physical damage you have incurred at the hands of your offspring. My son was just climbing on me while I was Facetiming with my wife and he stepped on my throat and shifted my windpipe so much so that I feel it when I swallow, 2 hours after the fact. Now its i who is in misery.

Well played, kid.

My almost 2 year old was getting pretty rough climbing on me last night. I wasn't even trying to protect the windpipe. Thanks for the heads up.
It still hurts to swallow. He got me really good.
0 x

User avatar
WrigleyField 22
Superstar
Posts: 14436
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2003 10:48 pm
Location: hnderstabxcwhsg
x 2642
x 1633

Re: RE: Re: My son attempted patricide

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Wed Sep 09, 2020 3:06 am

We Got The Whole 9 wrote:
WrigleyField 22 wrote:
We Got The Whole 9 wrote:As if it wasn't enough that my twins are presumably getting their molars now and my son lumbers around moaning like a Tarzan/Frankenstein hybrid in the daytime and sleeps in 30 minute intervals disrupted by hellacious bloody murder howls. Most of you guys have been through this but I figured I would ask what sort of physical damage you have incurred at the hands of your offspring. My son was just climbing on me while I was Facetiming with my wife and he stepped on my throat and shifted my windpipe so much so that I feel it when I swallow, 2 hours after the fact. Now its i who is in misery.

Well played, kid.

My almost 2 year old was getting pretty rough climbing on me last night. I wasn't even trying to protect the windpipe. Thanks for the heads up.
It still hurts to swallow. He got me really good.

Get that checked out?

I was overly protecting the family jewels, but given two kids, maybe that's cheaper then the snip snip?
0 x
Image

We Got The Whole 9
All-Star
Posts: 4267
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2016 2:38 am
x 694

Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: My son attempted patricide

Postby We Got The Whole 9 » Wed Sep 09, 2020 3:42 am

WrigleyField 22 wrote:
We Got The Whole 9 wrote:
WrigleyField 22 wrote:My almost 2 year old was getting pretty rough climbing on me last night. I wasn't even trying to protect the windpipe. Thanks for the heads up.
It still hurts to swallow. He got me really good.

Get that checked out?

I was overly protecting the family jewels, but given two kids, maybe that's cheaper then the snip snip?


Well i haven't had any difficulty breathing, otherwise I'd go in to get it checked out. its just discomfort when I swallow which i figure is inflammation. I took an anti-inflammatory and I anticipate it will be a lot better tomorrow.

There have been times i wished I was wearing a cup when playing with them too lol

I'm just really relishing being a big kid playing with them. I've never had such an easy time making somebody laugh and lose it. They're so much fun even when they're inflicting pain on me.
0 x

squally1313
All-Star
Posts: 4450
Joined: Sat Mar 24, 2007 7:34 pm
x 1498
x 1713

Re: My son attempted patricide

Postby squally1313 » Wed Sep 09, 2020 3:52 pm

I have rarely been so relieved to realize I read the thread title wrong.
4 x

User avatar
CUB5
bench player
Posts: 19
Joined: Sun Jun 27, 2010 12:51 am

Re: My son attempted patricide

Postby CUB5 » Tue Sep 15, 2020 1:31 am

I remember my son kicking and missing his ball at age 2 and hitting my weak ankle out of socket. As I laid on the floor cursing he just looking at me like “Are you going to kick it back to me or what?”

Animal.
0 x
#17 Mark Grace for the HOF


Return to “Rants”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests