Door-to-door salesmen

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Derwood
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Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Derwood » Thu May 19, 2016 9:05 pm

It's that time of year again, where the door-to-door guys are coming out in droves. Home security, pest control, lawn service, driveway repaving, etc. They all have the EXACT same sales pitch, which is bull horsefeathers "Hey, we've already taken care of a lot of people on your street....do you know Ken and Jen? They signed up for our full package!" There is no Ken and Jen (I know most of my neighbors at least by name, and the names they give for all the people they've signed up doesn't match anyone ever). Unfortunately, our HOA has no rules against them invading our neighborhood as long as they have a license/permit to solicit.

tl;dr horsefeathers these guys
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Ding Dong Johnson » Thu May 19, 2016 9:08 pm

I usually give them the ol' "get the horsefeathers out of here" immediately after opening the door. haven't heard a pitch in years.
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Derwood » Thu May 19, 2016 9:11 pm

Ding Dong Johnson wrote:I usually give them the ol' "get the [expletive] out of here" immediately after opening the door. haven't heard a pitch in years.


The one I just got wouldn't take the hint. He gave me his 30 second pitch as I stared directly at him. I told him "I'm good" and started closing the door when he tried changing gears on me. I repeated myself and locked the door.
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Sammy Sofa » Thu May 19, 2016 9:14 pm

Hey, just don't answer the door.
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Derwood » Thu May 19, 2016 9:15 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:Hey, just don't answer the door.


When the front door is open and the guy can see me sitting here when the rings the doorbell...
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Sammy Sofa » Thu May 19, 2016 9:15 pm

What are you wearing?
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Derwood » Thu May 19, 2016 9:16 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:What are you wearing?


cargo shorts
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Ding Dong Johnson » Thu May 19, 2016 9:20 pm

Derwood wrote:
Ding Dong Johnson wrote:I usually give them the ol' "get the [expletive] out of here" immediately after opening the door. haven't heard a pitch in years.


The one I just got wouldn't take the hint. He gave me his 30 second pitch as I stared directly at him. I told him "I'm good" and started closing the door when he tried changing gears on me. I repeated myself and locked the door.

did he wedge his foot in there to stop the door from shutting? you're not the first to do that to him, and you certainly won't be the last. he's going to be ok if you just say no and shut the door
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Sammy Sofa » Thu May 19, 2016 9:25 pm

Ding Dong Johnson wrote:
Derwood wrote:
Ding Dong Johnson wrote:I usually give them the ol' "get the [expletive] out of here" immediately after opening the door. haven't heard a pitch in years.


The one I just got wouldn't take the hint. He gave me his 30 second pitch as I stared directly at him. I told him "I'm good" and started closing the door when he tried changing gears on me. I repeated myself and locked the door.

did he wedge his foot in there to stop the door from shutting? you're not the first to do that to him, and you certainly won't be the last. he's going to be ok if you just say no and shut the door


He was taught by the best, dammit!

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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Sammy Sofa » Thu May 19, 2016 9:26 pm

Derwood wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:What are you wearing?


cargo shorts


Temptress.

I'll bet you were seductively rubbing a sweaty Fruitopia against your forehead, too.
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Derwood » Thu May 19, 2016 9:30 pm

Ding Dong Johnson wrote:
Derwood wrote:
Ding Dong Johnson wrote:I usually give them the ol' "get the [expletive] out of here" immediately after opening the door. haven't heard a pitch in years.


The one I just got wouldn't take the hint. He gave me his 30 second pitch as I stared directly at him. I told him "I'm good" and started closing the door when he tried changing gears on me. I repeated myself and locked the door.

did he wedge his foot in there to stop the door from shutting? you're not the first to do that to him, and you certainly won't be the last. he's going to be ok if you just say no and shut the door


I mean I basically did, just wasted a minute of his time first
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby jersey cubs fan » Thu May 19, 2016 9:42 pm

we don't have those things


but people do shove menus and business cards in the door crack
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Banedon » Fri May 20, 2016 12:41 pm

We get these, and I don't feel bad for given them a flat not interested and closing the door on them.

The other kind we get though are these teens selling magazine subscriptions, supposedly to finance a trip or some great educational opportunity. I still tell them not interested, but I feel slightly worse. I assume it's some kind of scam though.
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Fri May 20, 2016 12:54 pm

Banedon wrote:We get these, and I don't feel bad for given them a flat not interested and closing the door on them.

The other kind we get though are these teens selling magazine subscriptions, supposedly to finance a trip or some great educational opportunity. I still tell them not interested, but I feel slightly worse. I assume it's some kind of scam though.

Uh yea it's a scam- they're trying to sell you print magazines. Unless you are a doctor and need to fill up the waiting room rack...

Haven't experienced the door to door salesmen as an adult, but one time as a kid the Cable guy was coming around and I successfully got my mom to talk to him after I answered the door and we got better cable :good:

Also my dad used to answer the door for the jevohahs witnesses going door to door and actually invite them in and talk to them for like an hour at a time.
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby PosterToBeNamedLater » Fri May 20, 2016 1:34 pm

Banedon wrote:We get these, and I don't feel bad for given them a flat not interested and closing the door on them.

The other kind we get though are these teens selling magazine subscriptions, supposedly to finance a trip or some great educational opportunity. I still tell them not interested, but I feel slightly worse. I assume it's some kind of scam though.

I remember a few years ago reading about the magazine subscription underworld. The kids aren't going to college or whatever they say. I think they are usually homeless/runaways/being held against their will at that point. Their crew leaders treat them terribly and might not feed them if they don't sell a certain amount. It was a very sketchy world.
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby SouthSideRyan » Fri May 20, 2016 2:07 pm

Banedon totally buys the M&Ms from the people in old baseball uniforms off the Dan Ryan.
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby UMFan83 » Fri May 20, 2016 2:12 pm

Similar to that, I get "inner city" kids selling candy door to door to pay for their basketball team. Usually they have some crumpled up piece of paper that describes where the money is going or something. Usually, I am a huge skeptic and would have no problem turning anyone away, but I was apparently particularly gullible or ripe for scamming one day so I decided I would buy a box of M&Ms. I ask them how much? And the kid tells me $6. $6 for a box of candy? Oh well I already committed, here is a 20. The kid takes my $20 and starts walking away. I stop him and ask him what he's doing. "Oh I thought the rest was a donation to the team."

At that point I came to my senses, grabbed my 20 back, threw the M&Ms box (which actually now that I think about it felt empty) back and closed my door.
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Banedon » Fri May 20, 2016 2:19 pm

SouthSideRyan wrote:Banedon totally buys the M&Ms from the people in old baseball uniforms off the Dan Ryan.


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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby SpongeWorthy » Wed May 25, 2016 6:50 am

WrigleyField 22 wrote:Also my dad used to answer the door for the jevohahs witnesses going door to door and actually invite them in and talk to them for like an hour at a time.


is this the group that goes around mutilating squirrels
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby biittner77 » Wed May 25, 2016 12:47 pm

I live on a farm. My driveway is about the length of a football field. You'd think that would give Jehovah's witnesses pause and keep them from knocking on my door. Nope.
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Wed May 25, 2016 12:57 pm

biittner77 wrote:I live on a farm. My driveway is about the length of a football field. You'd think that would give Jehovah's witnesses pause and keep them from knocking on my door. Nope.

Come on, half the reason they're doing this is to get some fresh air and exercise. Plus it breaks up the rejections.
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Cubbie Swagger » Thu May 26, 2016 4:27 am

biittner77 wrote:I live on a farm. My driveway is about the length of a football field. You'd think that would give Jehovah's witnesses pause and keep them from knocking on my door. Nope.

That doesn't surprise me at all.

Yeah, it's more physical effort, but I would guess that their success rate is higher with people who live on farms, or in rural areas. Going door to door in Chicago spewing that kind of [expletive] would not be very enjoyable.
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby javy knows my name » Thu May 26, 2016 1:06 pm

jersey cubs fan wrote:we don't have those things


but people do shove menus and business cards in the door crack


Yeah I can't imagine anyone thinks it's a good idea to do this in NJ/NY/MA. Must only be a thing in the midwest and south.
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby davell » Thu May 26, 2016 7:56 pm

As a guy in sales, I have a certain amount of respect for how the door to door guys keep going. The amount of rejection they encounter on a daily basis is insane. For anyone who does that for a SUCCESSFUL career, my hats off. It'd take a special mentality, in all honesty.

That said, those guys are very few and far between. The better guys who basically do the same thing, are the homeless. Its usually car to car or person to person, as they're likely to get shooed away from neighborhoods. But some of those [expletive] have grapefruits. I had a dude approach me a few years ago.....

Walked up while I was filling up. Had on a Moses Malone jersey that wasn't a retro. Smiled big time, shook my hand confidently and said "Hey man, I'm all homeless and horsefeathers, you've got 20 bucks to spare me, right?"

Perfect lead into getting a yes, with a touch of humor. I gave it to him, even though he smelled like a foot that hadn't been washed in a year.
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Re: Door-to-door salesmen

Postby Tracer Bullet » Thu May 26, 2016 10:54 pm

Homeless guy walked up to my wife and I a month or so ago when we were out for a rare night out. He had a sign offering free blowjobs and asked if I wanted to spend some time with him. I declined and told my wife (loud enough for him to hear) that there was a flaw in his business model.
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