Bathroom Nightmares

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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Derwood » Sun Nov 27, 2016 1:56 am

WrigleyField 22 wrote:No one told Derwood yet that women poop too?


I try to pretend that women are slightly more civilized than we of the poop-smearing sex
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby BigbadB » Mon Nov 28, 2016 3:37 pm

3rd year in a row? Disgruntled employee having to work during the holidays?
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby jersey cubs fan » Sun Dec 11, 2016 2:45 am

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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Derwood » Tue Dec 13, 2016 5:56 pm

There is a water main break down the street, so we have no running water at work. Out public toilets are poo-tastic
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Wed Sep 20, 2017 10:54 pm

I walked into the bathroom at work today and was startled by the sight of a co-worker pissing in a urinal with both of his hands clasped behind his back. I just turned around and walked out.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Wed Sep 20, 2017 11:05 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:I walked into the bathroom at work today and was startled by the sight of a co-worker pissing in a urinal with both of his hands clasped behind his back. I just turned around and walked out.

Both hands on the wall leaning over the urinal...

I hope for awkwardness sake he was just in severe pain and passing a kidney stone and that isn't his normal urinal position.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby mul21 » Thu Sep 21, 2017 11:17 am

Sammy Sofa wrote:I walked into the bathroom at work today and was startled by the sight of a co-worker pissing in a urinal with both of his hands clasped behind his back. I just turned around and walked out.


I'm convinced these are the same guys that strut around locker rooms proudly showing off their junk.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Thu Sep 21, 2017 1:30 pm

mul21 wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:I walked into the bathroom at work today and was startled by the sight of a co-worker pissing in a urinal with both of his hands clasped behind his back. I just turned around and walked out.


I'm convinced these are the same guys that strut around locker rooms proudly showing off their junk.


Normally I would agree, but this guy is the epitome of an office wallflower. Like, he goes out of his way to have as few social interactions as possible.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby jersey cubs fan » Thu Sep 21, 2017 1:33 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:
mul21 wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:I walked into the bathroom at work today and was startled by the sight of a co-worker pissing in a urinal with both of his hands clasped behind his back. I just turned around and walked out.


I'm convinced these are the same guys that strut around locker rooms proudly showing off their junk.


Normally I would agree, but this guy is the epitome of an office wallflower. Like, he goes out of his way to have as few social interactions as possible.

Probably because he's sick of all conversation centering around his enormous dong.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Thu Sep 21, 2017 1:36 pm

jersey cubs fan wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:
mul21 wrote:
I'm convinced these are the same guys that strut around locker rooms proudly showing off their junk.


Normally I would agree, but this guy is the epitome of an office wallflower. Like, he goes out of his way to have as few social interactions as possible.

Probably because he's sick of all conversation centering around his enormous dong.


Counterpoint: the logistics of a gigantic schwanstucker would not lend themselves to hands-free urinal usage unless said person was essentially right on top of the damn thing. This dude was practically doing a casual Fat Joe lean-back, so presumably the opposite situation size-wise is going on.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby jersey cubs fan » Thu Sep 21, 2017 1:37 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:
jersey cubs fan wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:
Normally I would agree, but this guy is the epitome of an office wallflower. Like, he goes out of his way to have as few social interactions as possible.

Probably because he's sick of all conversation centering around his enormous dong.


Counterpoint: the logistics of a gigantic schwanstucker would not lend themselves to hands-free urinal usage unless said person was essentially right on top of the damn thing. This dude was practically doing a casual Fat Joe lean-back, so presumably the opposite situation size-wise is going on.

it's definitely one extreme or another, and standard hose needs some attention.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Thu Sep 21, 2017 1:39 pm

jersey cubs fan wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:
jersey cubs fan wrote:Probably because he's sick of all conversation centering around his enormous dong.


Counterpoint: the logistics of a gigantic schwanstucker would not lend themselves to hands-free urinal usage unless said person was essentially right on top of the damn thing. This dude was practically doing a casual Fat Joe lean-back, so presumably the opposite situation size-wise is going on.

it's definitely one extreme or another, and standard hose needs some attention.


Man, if he was a hose-monster, he's just be spraying straight down all over his shoes with that pose.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby jersey cubs fan » Thu Sep 21, 2017 1:55 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:
jersey cubs fan wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:
Counterpoint: the logistics of a gigantic schwanstucker would not lend themselves to hands-free urinal usage unless said person was essentially right on top of the damn thing. This dude was practically doing a casual Fat Joe lean-back, so presumably the opposite situation size-wise is going on.

it's definitely one extreme or another, and standard hose needs some attention.


Man, if he was a hose-monster, he's just be spraying straight down all over his shoes with that pose.

every curve is unique
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Derwood » Thu Sep 21, 2017 4:10 pm

I'm so glad to be away from the public bathroom nightmares.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Hunter » Sat Oct 07, 2017 3:18 am

Went to the movies last weekend. 10 urinals no one around so I take the 1st urinal right next to the wall, just like any man would do. 2nd guy comes in takes the urinal right next to me. That is like a major no no when there are 8 other urinals. Second offense, guy has giant size popcorn in his arm and proceeds to urinate while holding the popcorn. I finish my business and start washing my hands. In the mirror I see him behind me with his face in the popcorn eating it, still while holding himself and urinating.
:barf:
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby jersey cubs fan » Sat Oct 07, 2017 3:25 am

Hunter wrote:Went to the movies last weekend. 10 urinals no one around so I take the 1st urinal right next to the wall, just like any man would do. 2nd guy comes in takes the urinal right next to me. That is like a major no no when there are 8 other urinals. Second offense, guy has giant size popcorn in his arm and proceeds to urinate while holding the popcorn. I finish my business and start washing my hands. In the mirror I see him behind me with his face in the popcorn eating it, still while holding himself and urinating.
:barf:


Was it Harvey Weinstein? Was a potted plant nearby?

I got news for you, he wasn't urinating.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby BigbadB » Sat Oct 07, 2017 1:19 pm

Found this nugget in my Nextdoor app email:

"There was a man who Had his pants down and appeared to be emptying his bowels on the sidewalk on Golfcrest south of Tuxeudo before Navajo, west side of the street. I have reported this information to the police.
Description of person involved – Hair: Hat, Top: Grey maybe, Bottom: Shorts - dark, navy maybe, Shoes: Sneakers, Build: Thin, Race: Caucasian, Sex: Male"

Pretty sure it's our local homeless person who is causing many of my neighbors tremendous grief. Oddly, this particular sidewalk is rather busy with people who climb the mountain that is basically right there, while the mountain area has all kinds of chaparral for one to hide and do ones business semi privately. Luckily, it was far enough away from my house so that I was not able to smell it.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby David » Sat Oct 07, 2017 2:51 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:I walked into the bathroom at work today and was startled by the sight of a co-worker pissing in a urinal with both of his hands clasped behind his back. I just turned around and walked out.


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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Rob » Sun Oct 08, 2017 2:04 am

Sammy Sofa wrote:I walked into the bathroom at work today and was startled by the sight of a co-worker pissing in a urinal with both of his hands clasped behind his back. I just turned around and walked out.


To my great embarrassment, I often find myself absent-mindedly browsing twitter or facebook on my phone while using a urinal. Then I suddenly realize the guy next to may think I'm trying to take a picture of his dong.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Geech » Sun Oct 08, 2017 1:36 pm

Rob wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:I walked into the bathroom at work today and was startled by the sight of a co-worker pissing in a urinal with both of his hands clasped behind his back. I just turned around and walked out.


To my great embarrassment, I often find myself absent-mindedly browsing twitter or facebook on my phone while using a urinal. Then I suddenly realize the guy next to may think I'm trying to take a picture of his dong.


Rob and Mojo are co-workers: confirmed.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Derwood » Fri Oct 13, 2017 11:36 am

I guess it's just normal now for people in the adjacent stall to be watching tv on their phone while they're pooping.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Fri Oct 13, 2017 1:45 pm

Unless it's something really offensive or gross, who cares?

Hell, I'd rather you hideous work poopers all watch things that will hopefully drown out the sound of your tortured bowels.
Last edited by Sammy Sofa on Thu Oct 19, 2017 6:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby biittner77 » Thu Oct 19, 2017 6:07 pm

We have an unattached garage that has a bathroom in it for people to use when they're in the pool or if we're having a bonfire. The other day the toilet over flowed. I tried using a plunger but the bowl has this weird configuration where a normal plunger won't cover it so I can't get enough suction to clog the leak. My father in law was going to try to snake the drain the next day.

I get home from work and the toilet is in the driveway. The clog was a wad of toilet paper the size of a one liter bottle. My father in law had to remove the stool to unclog the pipe.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Thu Oct 19, 2017 6:15 pm

biittner77 wrote:We have an unattached garage that has a bathroom in it for people to use when they're in the pool or if we're having a bonfire. The other day the toilet over flowed. I tried using a plunger but the bowl has this weird configuration where a normal plunger won't cover it so I can't get enough suction to clog the leak. My father in law was going to try to snake the drain the next day.

I get home from work and the toilet is in the driveway. The clog was a wad of toilet paper the size of a one liter bottle.

I see backups at work like that sometimes and I swear, some people are just wrapping up their hand in TP like an NFL lineman with a club protecting a broken hand. WHY ARE YOU USING THAT MUCH TP!
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Derwood » Thu Oct 19, 2017 11:48 pm

We have two restrooms in my building, one upstairs in the lobby, and one downstairs by my office. For some reason, the one by my office has no door on the stall, so if you walk in and someone is popping a squat, you just see them as you walk in. It's so insanely awkward that I walk all the way upstairs every time I need to poop just to avoid that weird stall
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