Bathroom Nightmares

User avatar
TBS Playoffs Insider
Turdologist
Posts: 30874
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2003 7:57 am
x 1475
x 3365
Contact:

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby TBS Playoffs Insider » Wed Mar 30, 2016 3:52 am

Sammy Sofa wrote:Do you work poopers bring your own TP or something? Probably the biggest thing keeping from dumping at work except in emergency circumstances is the horrible, horrible cheap toilet paper.


Im a heavy wiper, so i cannot horsefeathers in places with that awful TP.
0 x
Image

User avatar
Sammy Sofa
Licks Butts
Posts: 70859
Joined: Sat Oct 22, 2005 3:45 am
Location: Washington DC
x 6046
x 8067

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:54 pm

OleMissCub wrote:What cheap TP is worse? The "John Wayne" TP which is that brown sandpaper looking crap or the "one-quarter ply" super thin TP that you have to get an enormous wad of to make sure your fingers don't break through the paper.


The end result is the same; a brutalized bottom. I know imb's pain all too well:

0 x

User avatar
TruffleShuffle
Inner-Circle HOF
Posts: 53090
Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2004 2:47 pm
Location: Perth, W.A.
x 906
x 1335
Contact:

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby TruffleShuffle » Wed Mar 30, 2016 3:21 pm

i met my girlfriend's family (mom and sister) for the first time last easter - we were there for 4-5 days. the day before i met them i came down with a bad bout of stomach virus, which i assumed would last a day or so, like normal. WRONG. it lasted a week, and generally after eating i had about an hour before [expletive] my brains out. i was going several times a day, to the point where it was impossible to hide from my girlfriend and her family that there was something seriously wrong with my digestive system. then the day after i got back to perth, it cleared up.

not really the first impression i was going for.
1 x
Fred Hornkohl wrote:Go CUBS !!

User avatar
BigbadB
Hall of Fame
Posts: 24233
Joined: Wed Mar 05, 2003 2:38 am
Location: San Diego
x 14
x 72

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby BigbadB » Wed Mar 30, 2016 3:22 pm

I recently stayed at a hotel in Las Vegas and when I flushed the toilet the first time, I truly got scared that thing was going to suck me through the portal along with my tinkle. I've never seen a toilet flush so powerfully. I can't imagine anyone ever has to call for a plugged up toilet in this hotel. I joked with my wife that I believed there might be a flux capacitor under the lid of the tank.

Well, later that week, I flushed and the toilet ran longer than it should have. So I lifted the lid to see if I could make an adjustment to fix the running water, and sure enough, there was a flux capacitor in there. This hotel is shooting poo back in time. It's amazing.
0 x

User avatar
Derwood
Stall Monitor
Posts: 65124
Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2003 4:44 pm
Location: 375 Miles East of Wrigley
x 496
x 1186

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Derwood » Fri Apr 01, 2016 12:53 pm

0 x

User avatar
Sammy Sofa
Licks Butts
Posts: 70859
Joined: Sat Oct 22, 2005 3:45 am
Location: Washington DC
x 6046
x 8067

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Fri Apr 01, 2016 12:57 pm

For EVERYONE.
0 x

User avatar
Ding Dong Johnson
Crap Bag
Posts: 32234
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2005 3:42 am
Location: Durnsville
x 473
x 3593

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Ding Dong Johnson » Fri Apr 01, 2016 2:18 pm

Travel bidet? I'm intrigued...
0 x
Image

User avatar
WrigleyField 22
Superstar
Posts: 11138
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2003 10:48 pm
Location: hnderstabxcwhsg
x 1195
x 376

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Tue Sep 13, 2016 5:37 pm

Seriously guys, when the bowl turns in to just a sea of TP that wont flush down, you're doing it wrong. Are you just wiping with the entire roll?
1 x
Image

User avatar
Sammy Sofa
Licks Butts
Posts: 70859
Joined: Sat Oct 22, 2005 3:45 am
Location: Washington DC
x 6046
x 8067

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue Sep 13, 2016 5:53 pm

WrigleyField 22 wrote:Seriously guys, when the bowl turns in to just a sea of TP that wont flush down, you're doing it wrong. Are you just wiping with the entire roll?


1 x

User avatar
David
Inner-Circle HOF
Posts: 58657
Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2003 12:33 am
Location: Chicago
x 5859
x 3524

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby David » Tue Sep 13, 2016 5:56 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:Do you work poopers bring your own TP or something? Probably the biggest thing keeping from dumping at work except in emergency circumstances is the horrible, horrible cheap toilet paper.


I know I'm replying to a 5.5 month old post here, but yeah. I'm a TP elitist too (I'll even pick some up at CVS if I'm staying at a hotel that doesn't have something acceptable, which is 9/10 - it's always funny getting weird looks from the doorman or whoever when I do this in Vegas), but we have Charmin at my work, so we're good there.
1 x
Image

The Cubs’ transaction list under Epstein and Hoyer reads like a work of fiction, a wish-fulfillment list composed in hindsight.

User avatar
David
Inner-Circle HOF
Posts: 58657
Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2003 12:33 am
Location: Chicago
x 5859
x 3524

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby David » Tue Sep 13, 2016 5:57 pm

BigbadB wrote:I recently stayed at a hotel in Las Vegas and when I flushed the toilet the first time, I truly got scared that thing was going to suck me through the portal along with my tinkle. I've never seen a toilet flush so powerfully. I can't imagine anyone ever has to call for a plugged up toilet in this hotel. I joked with my wife that I believed there might be a flux capacitor under the lid of the tank.

Well, later that week, I flushed and the toilet ran longer than it should have. So I lifted the lid to see if I could make an adjustment to fix the running water, and sure enough, there was a flux capacitor in there. This hotel is shooting poo back in time. It's amazing.


Those Vegas toilets are insane
0 x
Image

The Cubs’ transaction list under Epstein and Hoyer reads like a work of fiction, a wish-fulfillment list composed in hindsight.

User avatar
Banedon
Curse You!
Posts: 63971
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2003 9:36 pm
Location: Kidding Myself
x 3025
x 3180

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Banedon » Tue Sep 13, 2016 6:06 pm

NSBB has two active threads about pooping.
0 x
Image

User avatar
Sammy Sofa
Licks Butts
Posts: 70859
Joined: Sat Oct 22, 2005 3:45 am
Location: Washington DC
x 6046
x 8067

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue Sep 13, 2016 6:33 pm

Not enough.
0 x

User avatar
BigbadB
Hall of Fame
Posts: 24233
Joined: Wed Mar 05, 2003 2:38 am
Location: San Diego
x 14
x 72

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby BigbadB » Tue Sep 13, 2016 7:05 pm

MORE!
0 x

User avatar
Sammy Sofa
Licks Butts
Posts: 70859
Joined: Sat Oct 22, 2005 3:45 am
Location: Washington DC
x 6046
x 8067

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue Sep 13, 2016 7:07 pm

My threads are all pooping, pizza and politics.
0 x

User avatar
Banedon
Curse You!
Posts: 63971
Joined: Wed Jun 18, 2003 9:36 pm
Location: Kidding Myself
x 3025
x 3180

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Banedon » Tue Sep 13, 2016 7:28 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:My threads are all pooping, pizza and politics.


I'm gonna start posting about comic book movies in all three of them.
1 x
Image

User avatar
jersey cubs fan
Inner-Circle HOF
Posts: 56560
Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2007 6:38 pm
Location: Hoboken squat cobbler
x 1579
x 5190

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby jersey cubs fan » Tue Sep 13, 2016 7:33 pm

Banedon wrote:NSBB has two active threads about pooping.

there's a little german in all of us
0 x
longhotsummer wrote:I realize now, any opposing viewpoint, will not be tolerated.

User avatar
XZero77
Superstar
Posts: 19872
Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2003 10:57 am
Location: The Wastes
x 88
x 307
Contact:

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby XZero77 » Tue Sep 13, 2016 8:55 pm

David wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:Do you work poopers bring your own TP or something? Probably the biggest thing keeping from dumping at work except in emergency circumstances is the horrible, horrible cheap toilet paper.


I know I'm replying to a 5.5 month old post here, but yeah. I'm a TP elitist too (I'll even pick some up at CVS if I'm staying at a hotel that doesn't have something acceptable, which is 9/10 - it's always funny getting weird looks from the doorman or whoever when I do this in Vegas), but we have Charmin at my work, so we're good there.


I take my own TP to work. The 1-ply el cheapo toilet paper is a thing that I cannot understand. Yes, it's much cheaper per roll, but when your average pooper has to use half a roll at a time, how is that economical?
0 x

User avatar
Ding Dong Johnson
Crap Bag
Posts: 32234
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2005 3:42 am
Location: Durnsville
x 473
x 3593

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Ding Dong Johnson » Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:08 pm

Banedon wrote:NSBB has two active threads about pooping.

truffle has no clue what hit him!
0 x
Image

User avatar
WrigleyField 22
Superstar
Posts: 11138
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2003 10:48 pm
Location: hnderstabxcwhsg
x 1195
x 376

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Fri Nov 18, 2016 4:54 pm

Under what circumstances are you getting poop on the seat, near the front of the seat, no less. Come on people.
0 x
Image

User avatar
Sammy Sofa
Licks Butts
Posts: 70859
Joined: Sat Oct 22, 2005 3:45 am
Location: Washington DC
x 6046
x 8067

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Fri Nov 18, 2016 5:00 pm

I always assume it's the result of some dingbat worried about their butt touching a public toilet seat, so they try to hover.
0 x

Tryptamine
5-Time All-Star
Posts: 5661
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:13 pm
x 1
x 58

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Tryptamine » Sat Nov 26, 2016 8:09 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:I always assume it's the result of some dingbat worried about their butt touching a public toilet seat, so they try to hover.


This reminds me of using the old style bathrooms in Japan and the trauma I endured trying to use them while drunk. Thankfully about 80% of bathrooms now use a modern toilet. If you go to Japan's version of Walmart "Seiyu" you even get the toilets that play music, spray perfume,have a warmed seat and spin the seat 360 degrees after every flush to sanitize.

Image
0 x

User avatar
cl smooth
All-Star
Posts: 1346
Joined: Thu May 12, 2005 3:59 pm
Location: brooklynnnnnnnnnn
x 1380
x 218

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby cl smooth » Sat Nov 26, 2016 10:24 pm

Tryptamine wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:I always assume it's the result of some dingbat worried about their butt touching a public toilet seat, so they try to hover.


This reminds me of using the old style bathrooms in Japan and the trauma I endured trying to use them while drunk. Thankfully about 80% of bathrooms now use a modern toilet. If you go to Japan's version of Walmart "Seiyu" you even get the toilets that play music, spray perfume,have a warmed seat and spin the seat 360 degrees after every flush to sanitize.

Image


that looks like a toilet one would climb inside while drunk.
0 x

User avatar
Derwood
Stall Monitor
Posts: 65124
Joined: Thu Jul 10, 2003 4:44 pm
Location: 375 Miles East of Wrigley
x 496
x 1186

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Derwood » Sat Nov 26, 2016 10:47 pm

For the third year in a row, poop was smeared on the walls of our public bathroom on Black Friday*


















* in the women's restroom
0 x

User avatar
WrigleyField 22
Superstar
Posts: 11138
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2003 10:48 pm
Location: hnderstabxcwhsg
x 1195
x 376

Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Sun Nov 27, 2016 1:46 am

No one told Derwood yet that women poop too?
0 x
Image


Return to “Rants”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest