Bathroom Nightmares

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Derwood
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Derwood » Mon Mar 28, 2016 11:26 pm

My work only has two stalls in the mens room, so its no-holds barred in there
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Thurman Merman
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Thurman Merman » Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:07 am

I feel sorry for anyone who has some weird poop anxiety. I will poop anywhere, anytime. Inside, outside, alone, next to people, dont care. I also am a super fast pooper, so maybe that has something to do with it.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby CubInOK » Tue Mar 29, 2016 2:09 am

So usually between 9:00-10:00am I always have to take a horsefeathers. Does anyone else have a time to horsefeathers they can set their watch to?
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby grassbass » Tue Mar 29, 2016 2:12 am

CubInOK wrote:So usually between 9:00-10:00am I always have to take a [expletive]. Does anyone else have a time to [expletive] they can set their watch to?


If I remember correctly from the old poop thread, Truffle couldn't set his watch, but he could tell you what day of the month it was.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Gilby » Tue Mar 29, 2016 2:16 am

jersey cubs fan wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:
jersey cubs fan wrote:it matters, the preference is always nobody else in, followed by nobody in next stall.


Sure, if you're just strolling into the bathroom, but if it's THAT urgent? God help whoever is next to the stall because at that point I could not possibly care less. I like to scream "BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES," too. Usually clears the place out pretty quickly.

My body does a pretty good job of shutting down based on location. I've gone an entire weekend without while in suboptimal conditions. And I can walk in to the toilet at work while under duress, spot a fellow passenger and walk right back out to wait.


YUP. I had a slight emergency the other day at work and saw one set of feet (in a two stall bathroom) and that plugged me up for a few hours.

I legitimately respect those who can let it rip with others in the bathroom, but I'll never be one of those people.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby mul21 » Tue Mar 29, 2016 2:42 am

I had a post lunch issue last week and had to find a spot halfway up Camel Back mountain.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Tue Mar 29, 2016 2:51 am

So you bufferstall poopers, if its three stalls where one is handicapped, you still doing the buffer? Those are always my last choice, buffer room be damned.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:04 am

Thurman Merman wrote:I feel sorry for anyone who has some weird poop anxiety. I will poop anywhere, anytime. Inside, outside, alone, next to people, dont care. I also am a super fast pooper, so maybe that has something to do with it.


Damn right.

These people here talking about how they can shut down the crushing urge if the bathroom setup isn't to their liking...how the hell do they even do that?
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby jersey cubs fan » Tue Mar 29, 2016 11:39 am

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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Banedon » Tue Mar 29, 2016 12:26 pm

WrigleyField 22 wrote:So you bufferstall poopers, if its three stalls where one is handicapped, you still doing the buffer? Those are always my last choice, buffer room be damned.


At work we have the 3 and a handicap, and I always go for the handicap stall. Typically, I would avoid it, but we have automatic flushers at work, and something is set on them screwy so they flush all the time while you're sitting on them. It's infuriating. But the handicap ones are set differently for some reason, so I don't get wet ass in those.

In general, I take the buffer stall when I can. And I can be a little finicky about the stall, but it's more about cleanliness than any fear of some faceless stranger hearing me. I couldn't care less about that.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby CubinNY » Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:10 pm

WrigleyField 22 wrote:So you bufferstall poopers, if its three stalls where one is handicapped, you still doing the buffer? Those are always my last choice, buffer room be damned.

The handicapped stall is my go-to. I love the luxury.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:11 pm

CubinNY wrote:
WrigleyField 22 wrote:So you bufferstall poopers, if its three stalls where one is handicapped, you still doing the buffer? Those are always my last choice, buffer room be damned.

The handicapped stall is my go-to. I love the luxury.

I'm worried I'll make a handicapped person wait for no good reason.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby SouthSideRyan » Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:54 pm

WrigleyField 22 wrote:So you bufferstall poopers, if its three stalls where one is handicapped, you still doing the buffer? Those are always my last choice, buffer room be damned.


We have no handicapped people in our office, so that's my first choice. You always buffer be it stall or urinal, but if there's no buffer, it's not going to prevent me from destroying a toilet right in the middle of Joe from Accounting Mark from Risk.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:05 pm

SouthSideRyan wrote:
WrigleyField 22 wrote:So you bufferstall poopers, if its three stalls where one is handicapped, you still doing the buffer? Those are always my last choice, buffer room be damned.


We have no handicapped people in our office, so that's my first choice. You always buffer be it stall or urinal, but if there's no buffer, it's not going to prevent me from destroying a toilet right in the middle of Joe from Accounting Mark from Risk.

Oh I definitely always buffer the urinal.

Yea, and I guess at work, I don't consider it, especially since we have the whole floor. At a truly public place though, it crosses my mind.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby jersey cubs fan » Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:17 pm

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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby squally1313 » Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:23 pm

The irrational fear of walking out of the handicapped stall to some dude in a wheelchair or on crutches or whatever is greater than the small increase in luxury I gain from the increased space.

Of course, our floor has the handicapped stall on the left, three normal stalls, and then like a children's stall with the toilet at about half the height for some god forsaken reason, so it's typically chaos. If I know it's going to be a bad one, I just walk downstairs to our conference room floor for some privacy.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby jersey cubs fan » Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:27 pm

jersey cubs fan wrote:http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/games/urinal

this game demonstrates why Matt Harvey is not going to be healthy on opening day
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby SouthSideRyan » Tue Mar 29, 2016 3:44 pm

jersey cubs fan wrote:http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/games/urinal


My only wild card with urinals is the handicapped/kids urinal. What takes priority?
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby woodchip2153 » Tue Mar 29, 2016 5:25 pm

SouthSideRyan wrote:
WrigleyField 22 wrote:So you bufferstall poopers, if its three stalls where one is handicapped, you still doing the buffer? Those are always my last choice, buffer room be damned.


We have no handicapped people in our office, so that's my first choice. You always buffer be it stall or urinal, but if there's no buffer, it's not going to prevent me from destroying a toilet right in the middle of Joe from Accounting Mark from Risk.


It's because of jerks like you I average 3 trips to the bathroom for 1 poop.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Ding Dong Johnson » Tue Mar 29, 2016 5:47 pm

I take a big ol' poopie first thing in the morning so that I don't have to deal with gross work poopers.

I still long for the day when there will be 2 separate rooms for men. 1 for the normal tinkle and 1 for the twosies. I don't want to smell that stuff when I'm pissing.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Derwood » Tue Mar 29, 2016 6:02 pm

I don't get the guys who feel like the best time to call and check in on the wife/girlfriend is while they're bombing a wet deuce
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue Mar 29, 2016 6:36 pm

Ding Dong Johnson wrote:I take a big ol' poopie first thing in the morning so that I don't have to deal with gross work poopers.


I hate pooping at work, but every so often you simply don't have a choice.

Besides, doesn't everyone unleash their primary dump in the morning?
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Derwood » Tue Mar 29, 2016 6:42 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:
Ding Dong Johnson wrote:I take a big ol' poopie first thing in the morning so that I don't have to deal with gross work poopers.


I hate pooping at work, but every so often you simply don't have a choice.

Besides, doesn't everyone unleash their primary dump in the morning?


A couple of donuts and a large coffee at 7:45am will have me primed for a 9:30am dump every time
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Banedon » Tue Mar 29, 2016 6:56 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:
Ding Dong Johnson wrote:I take a big ol' poopie first thing in the morning so that I don't have to deal with gross work poopers.


I hate pooping at work, but every so often you simply don't have a choice.

Besides, doesn't everyone unleash their primary dump in the morning?


I try to do all my pooping at work. The best poops are the ones you're getting paid for.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:12 pm

Ugh, not in my work bathrooms.

Plus I prefer to go full Costanza and have as few clothes on as possible. Nothing more liberating than a dump in the nude.
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