Bathroom Nightmares

squally1313
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby squally1313 » Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:16 pm

Banedon wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:
Ding Dong Johnson wrote:I take a big ol' poopie first thing in the morning so that I don't have to deal with gross work poopers.


I hate pooping at work, but every so often you simply don't have a choice.

Besides, doesn't everyone unleash their primary dump in the morning?


I try to do all my pooping at work. The best poops are the ones you're getting paid for.


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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby cl smooth » Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:17 pm

CubInOK wrote:So usually between 9:00-10:00am I always have to take a [expletive]. Does anyone else have a time to [expletive] they can set their watch to?


i normally wake up at 7am every morning. by 10am, i have usually taken 3 horsefeathers, sometimes 4. no less than 3 horsefeathers by 10am. all clean, too.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby SouthSideRyan » Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:32 pm

Banedon wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:
Ding Dong Johnson wrote:I take a big ol' poopie first thing in the morning so that I don't have to deal with gross work poopers.


I hate pooping at work, but every so often you simply don't have a choice.

Besides, doesn't everyone unleash their primary dump in the morning?


I try to do all my pooping at work. The best poops are the ones you're getting paid for.


Not to mention the respite that is tinker stinker time.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby SouthSideRyan » Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:33 pm

woodchip2153 wrote:
SouthSideRyan wrote:
WrigleyField 22 wrote:So you bufferstall poopers, if its three stalls where one is handicapped, you still doing the buffer? Those are always my last choice, buffer room be damned.


We have no handicapped people in our office, so that's my first choice. You always buffer be it stall or urinal, but if there's no buffer, it's not going to prevent me from destroying a toilet right in the middle of Joe from Accounting Mark from Risk.


It's because of jerks like you I average 3 trips to the bathroom for 1 poop.


Like do you walk in and walk out right in people's plain view? With open stalls sitting there?
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CubInOK
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby CubInOK » Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:33 pm

Banedon wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:
Ding Dong Johnson wrote:I take a big ol' poopie first thing in the morning so that I don't have to deal with gross work poopers.


I hate pooping at work, but every so often you simply don't have a choice.

Besides, doesn't everyone unleash their primary dump in the morning?


I try to do all my pooping at work. The best poops are the ones you're getting paid for.

Just remember to flush afterwards.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Banedon » Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:40 pm

CubInOK wrote:
Banedon wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:
I hate pooping at work, but every so often you simply don't have a choice.

Besides, doesn't everyone unleash their primary dump in the morning?


I try to do all my pooping at work. The best poops are the ones you're getting paid for.

Just remember to flush afterwards.


Banedon wrote:Typically, I would avoid it, but we have automatic flushers at work, and something is set on them screwy so they flush all the time while you're sitting on them.


Not a concern.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Derwood » Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:51 pm

squally1313 wrote:
Banedon wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:
I hate pooping at work, but every so often you simply don't have a choice.

Besides, doesn't everyone unleash their primary dump in the morning?


I try to do all my pooping at work. The best poops are the ones you're getting paid for.


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Let's see....12 minute poop break, 5 times a week = 1 hour of paid poop time per week = 52 hours of paid poop time per year
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby woodchip2153 » Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:52 pm

SouthSideRyan wrote:
woodchip2153 wrote:
SouthSideRyan wrote:
We have no handicapped people in our office, so that's my first choice. You always buffer be it stall or urinal, but if there's no buffer, it's not going to prevent me from destroying a toilet right in the middle of Joe from Accounting Mark from Risk.


It's because of jerks like you I average 3 trips to the bathroom for 1 poop.


Like do you walk in and walk out right in people's plain view? With open stalls sitting there?


yes, because of injury I can't stand up from sitting without something to push up on, so I need the handicap stall.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:52 pm

Brandon's job is singlehandedly causing the California drought.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue Mar 29, 2016 7:54 pm

Do you work poopers bring your own TP or something? Probably the biggest thing keeping from dumping at work except in emergency circumstances is the horrible, horrible cheap toilet paper.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Banedon » Tue Mar 29, 2016 8:25 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:Brandon's job is singlehandedly causing the California drought.


I genuinely don't understand the benefit unless failure to flush was just a major issue that I was unaware of.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Smack » Tue Mar 29, 2016 8:27 pm

I went to take care of business yesterday at work and had to stop when I pushed the stall door open. It smelled like a dead goat was in the stall. I looked down and the seat was covered with brown liquid and there was horsefeathers down the side of the wall. On the floor at the base of the wall in a brown puddle were whole undigested grains of rice. WTF
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Banedon » Tue Mar 29, 2016 8:28 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:Do you work poopers bring your own TP or something? Probably the biggest thing keeping from dumping at work except in emergency circumstances is the horrible, horrible cheap toilet paper.


The TP quality at work is reasonable for me. It's not as good as home, but it could be much, much worse.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue Mar 29, 2016 8:28 pm

Banedon wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:Brandon's job is singlehandedly causing the California drought.


I genuinely don't understand the benefit unless failure to flush was just a major issue that I was unaware of.


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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby wekse » Tue Mar 29, 2016 8:53 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:Do you work poopers bring your own TP or something? Probably the biggest thing keeping from dumping at work except in emergency circumstances is the horrible, horrible cheap toilet paper.


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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue Mar 29, 2016 9:11 pm

It's not the inability to get clean so much as the TP at work might as well be sandpaper and leaves my undercarriage feeling ravaged. I don't know about you, but there was to be an initial TP approach before capping off with a wipe.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Proven Veteran » Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:13 pm

CubinNY wrote:
jersey cubs fan wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:Why would it matter if there's someone in the next stall? If it's that urgent, to hell with anyone nearby. Besides, in a public bathroom, it's not like them being 2-3 stalls over is going to mask the horrible stench/sounds.

it matters, the preference is always nobody else in, followed by nobody in next stall.

Yep. Also, I have a personal protocol of flush-to-cover-fart if someone else is the bathroom.


Can't do that here, you'll get covered with splash back.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:20 pm

Consider it the savage American's bidet.

I've twice lived overseas where we either had a bidet or bidet-like technology as part of the toilet and it was glorious. Wise the horsefeathers up, America.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Proven Veteran » Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:39 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:Consider it the savage American's bidet.

I've twice lived overseas where we either had a bidet or bidet-like technology as part of the toilet and it was glorious. Wise the [expletive] up, America.


Something is really wrong with the flushing here, it takes three or four flushes to get anything down, but it somehow also sprays a flume two feet high. We also have multiple floods of the bathroom per week.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:42 pm

Proven Veteran wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:Consider it the savage American's bidet.

I've twice lived overseas where we either had a bidet or bidet-like technology as part of the toilet and it was glorious. Wise the [expletive] up, America.


Something is really wrong with the flushing here, it takes three or four flushes to get anything down, but it somehow also sprays a flume two feet high. We also have multiple floods of the bathroom per week.


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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby SouthSideRyan » Wed Mar 30, 2016 1:15 am

woodchip2153 wrote:
SouthSideRyan wrote:
woodchip2153 wrote:
It's because of jerks like you I average 3 trips to the bathroom for 1 poop.


Like do you walk in and walk out right in people's plain view? With open stalls sitting there?


yes, because of injury I can't stand up from sitting without something to push up on, so I need the handicap stall.


Whoops thought you were talking about me pooping next to people.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby SouthSideRyan » Wed Mar 30, 2016 1:15 am

Sammy Sofa wrote:Do you work poopers bring your own TP or something? Probably the biggest thing keeping from dumping at work except in emergency circumstances is the horrible, horrible cheap toilet paper.


I'll just assume I was exempted from this question.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Sammy Sofa » Wed Mar 30, 2016 1:32 am

SouthSideRyan wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:Do you work poopers bring your own TP or something? Probably the biggest thing keeping from dumping at work except in emergency circumstances is the horrible, horrible cheap toilet paper.


I'll just assume I was exempted from this question.


I picture your day going something like this:

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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby OleMissCub » Wed Mar 30, 2016 1:44 am

What cheap TP is worse? The "John Wayne" TP which is that brown sandpaper looking crap or the "one-quarter ply" super thin TP that you have to get an enormous wad of to make sure your fingers don't break through the paper.
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Re: Bathroom Nightmares

Postby Derwood » Wed Mar 30, 2016 1:51 am

The kind that breaks off the roll every square or two
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