"horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby jersey cubs fan » Wed Jan 10, 2018 4:52 pm

It's definitely just one 45 on each side.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby ConstableRabbit » Wed Jan 10, 2018 5:16 pm

JennieGarthAlgar wrote:The first time I saw a picture of Kyle and Paige sitting on a balcony this offseason I legit assumed she was his sister. They kinda look like they could be related IMO.

Same.
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During a "Not For Women Only" panel discussion, former Cubs pitcher Mike Bielecki asked several players to invent a baseball catch phrase for Viagra. Theriot's ad campaign: "Viagra -- I always play hard."

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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby ConstableRabbit » Wed Jan 10, 2018 5:16 pm

Transmogrified Tiger wrote:
ConstableRabbit wrote:
Transmogrified Tiger wrote:
and what's with him hitting off a tee, a 6 year old can do that but I know Kyle can hit 95 mph fastballs

That's... not the same thing. If Kyle is deadlifting 135lbs, he's doing 100 reps. The point was that someone had one second to show him weightlifting in a video and chose an unimpressive weight.


I was mostly just messing with you, but there's a nugget of truth that training and improving doesn't require the most impressive physical achievements all the time, so I don't really notice it in a hype video about his training. I think there might be two 45 plates on each side too, but I'm not much of a weight lifter so I'll take your word for it.

So what you're saying is you don't even lift, bro?
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During a "Not For Women Only" panel discussion, former Cubs pitcher Mike Bielecki asked several players to invent a baseball catch phrase for Viagra. Theriot's ad campaign: "Viagra -- I always play hard."

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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Bertz » Wed Jan 10, 2018 6:13 pm

I'm generally the type to roll my eyes at best shape of his life stories, but considering Schwarber's biggest problem is range in the outfield stemming (mostly) from lack of speed, this might actually be meaningful.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby BigbadB » Wed Jan 10, 2018 8:45 pm

Bertz wrote:I'm generally the type to roll my eyes at best shape of his life stories, but considering Schwarber's biggest problem is range in the outfield stemming (mostly) from lack of speed, this might actually be meaningful.

I prefer seeing this over sitting around playing video games and pounding nachos.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Sammy Sofa » Wed Jan 10, 2018 8:58 pm

Beating up food seems more like a Happ thing anyway.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Banedon » Fri Feb 23, 2018 12:57 pm

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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby javy knows my name » Fri Feb 23, 2018 2:07 pm

What the horsefeathers he's tiny
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neely wrote:but in reality
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what do you call that?

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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Transmogrified Tiger » Fri Feb 23, 2018 2:32 pm

It's like he's in an old video game where they only have 4 different body types to choose from so he gets shoehorned into one that's obviously wrong.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby javy knows my name » Fri Feb 23, 2018 2:34 pm

Transmogrified Tiger wrote:It's like he's in an old video game where they only have 4 different body types to choose from so he gets shoehorned into one that's obviously wrong.


hahahahahahah this is perfect
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neely wrote:but in reality
2006 .364
2007 .351
2008 his one big year
2009 .347
2010 90 games played
2011 .323
what do you call that?

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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Splendid Splinter » Fri Feb 23, 2018 2:35 pm

javy knows my name wrote:What the horsefeathers he's tiny


It's all pure muscle baby.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby The_Achiever » Fri Feb 23, 2018 3:05 pm

The picture from spring training last year is almost as startling. I don't remember him being *that* fat.

However, I imagine the buffet circuit is intense the year after you're the world series hero.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby JennieGarthAlgar » Fri Feb 23, 2018 3:14 pm

Schwarber for ESPN body issue
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Proven Veteran » Fri Feb 23, 2018 5:26 pm

His head is going to look huge on that tiny body.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Bull » Fri Feb 23, 2018 5:34 pm

Proven Veteran wrote:His head is going to look huge on that tiny body.

solution: trade heads with rizzo.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Proven Veteran » Sat Feb 24, 2018 1:34 am

Bull wrote:
Proven Veteran wrote:His head is going to look huge on that tiny body.

solution: trade heads with rizzo.

Rizzo has a big head, just a tiny face.

I think we're looking at a head swap with seal boy.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Bull » Sat Feb 24, 2018 2:24 am

Proven Veteran wrote:
Bull wrote:
Proven Veteran wrote:His head is going to look huge on that tiny body.

solution: trade heads with rizzo.

Rizzo has a big head, just a tiny face.

I think we're looking at a head swap with seal boy.

Where’s B2B? There’s a three way deal here somewhere where Rizzos face on TLS head finds its way to Schwarber’s new body.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Duke Silver » Sat Feb 24, 2018 4:01 am

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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby 17 Seconds » Sun Feb 25, 2018 3:58 am

i want him to be good more than i've ever wanted a cub to be good
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Fro » Sun Feb 25, 2018 10:02 pm

Runs like the Flash now



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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby TBS Playoffs Insider » Mon Feb 26, 2018 10:46 pm

standing next to pablo like old me new me
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Old Style » Thu Mar 08, 2018 1:45 am

I kinda like Schwarber a bit less now that he's all in shape and sexy. He's abandoned us fat guys for the beautiful people.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Banedon » Thu Mar 08, 2018 4:40 pm

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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Sammy Sofa » Thu Mar 08, 2018 4:56 pm

He needs to work harder on his disgusting Baseball Chin.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby CubinNY » Thu Mar 08, 2018 9:23 pm

Old Style wrote:I kinda like Schwarber a bit less now that he's all in shape and sexy. He's abandoned us fat guys for the beautiful people.

He'll always be beefy on the inside.
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