"horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby David » Mon Apr 10, 2017 2:09 pm

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The Cubs’ transaction list under Epstein and Hoyer reads like a work of fiction, a wish-fulfillment list composed in hindsight.

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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby David » Mon Apr 10, 2017 3:31 pm

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The Cubs’ transaction list under Epstein and Hoyer reads like a work of fiction, a wish-fulfillment list composed in hindsight.

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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby 17 Seconds » Tue Apr 11, 2017 1:03 am

schwarber is my number one guy, but he's gotta lose the goatee
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby BigSlick » Tue Apr 11, 2017 4:04 pm

I had a hideous Matt Clement beard when I was 22 too so I approve of him just being a silly chubby early 20s guy with terrible sense of style.

I love him.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue Apr 11, 2017 4:30 pm

Bare-faced Schwarber might be even worse than just a Disgusting Baseball Chin. He's the kind of burly behemoth who would benefit from a majestic, well-maintained beard.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby David » Tue Apr 11, 2017 4:51 pm

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The Cubs’ transaction list under Epstein and Hoyer reads like a work of fiction, a wish-fulfillment list composed in hindsight.

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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Splendid Splinter » Tue Apr 11, 2017 5:29 pm

Every time I see him with his goatee, he reminds me of a young Tank Abbott.

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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue Apr 11, 2017 5:47 pm

David wrote:Image


What a babyface. He needs to make himself look like Zangief.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Banedon » Wed Apr 12, 2017 2:06 pm

http://www.csnchicago.com/chicago-cubs/ ... their-shot

"I believed today," Stan Zielinski wrote in a report filed on May 4, 2014, teasing the Cubs with the video he shot on a handheld camera during an Indiana-Purdue game. "I will send clip. To preview, squint your eyes and imagine a grainy film of Babe Ruth hitting a ball in the stands at Yankee Stadium. I swear I saw that reenacted today as the ball flew out over the 2nd fence in RF."
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby PetermanRealityTour » Wed Apr 12, 2017 6:24 pm

Farrell remembered Zielinski's last line in a lengthy Schwarber report documenting all the games he had seen before the Cubs made a franchise-altering decision in the 2014 draft: "You won't ever regret taking him at No. 4."


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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Splendid Splinter » Wed Apr 12, 2017 6:31 pm

I think I've contracted priapism.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby We Got The Whole 9 » Wed Apr 12, 2017 7:02 pm

horsefeathers it was posted already
Last edited by We Got The Whole 9 on Wed Apr 12, 2017 7:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby cl smooth » Wed Apr 12, 2017 7:08 pm

We Got The Whole 9 wrote:This is also a great article

http://www.espn.com/espn/feature/story/ ... -schwarber


our resident bot beat you by two days:

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1131&p=159753#p158955
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby We Got The Whole 9 » Wed Apr 12, 2017 7:14 pm

Sometimes it's hard to tell by tapatalk
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Duke Silver » Sat Apr 22, 2017 4:22 am

Contact% is up to 77.6%. Join the bandwagon now before it's too late. He'll be OPS'ing 1.000 in no time.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Duke Silver » Sat Apr 22, 2017 4:30 am

Russell and Bryant are both above that, too. This offense is going to decimate NL pitching.
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Re: RE: Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby We Got The Whole 9 » Sat Apr 22, 2017 9:32 am

Duke Silver wrote:Contact% is up to 77.6%. Join the bandwagon now before it's too late. He'll be OPS'ing 1.000 in no time.


Don't have to squint too hard to see it
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Derwood » Sat Apr 22, 2017 2:03 pm

That extra inning pitch last night was up in his eyes and he just buggy-whipped that thing to right field. Dude has an insanely quick swing
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Sammy Sofa » Sat Apr 22, 2017 2:42 pm

He's so awesome that he can tell an ump to horsefeathers off and the ump just goes "yessir."

PS: I want that gif.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby mikeyt34 » Thu Apr 27, 2017 7:34 am

I curious about Kyle's defensive metrics thus far in 2017. Can one of you guys be so kind and do a little breakdown. I don't know what I'm reading half the time from those spread sheets on Fan Graphs and such. Thanks.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Ding Dong Johnson » Thu Apr 27, 2017 2:07 pm

his defense is not very good. no metric needed
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby David » Thu Apr 27, 2017 2:16 pm

mikeyt34 wrote:I curious about Kyle's defensive metrics thus far in 2017. Can one of you guys be so kind and do a little breakdown. I don't know what I'm reading half the time from those spread sheets on Fan Graphs and such. Thanks.


So far he has a positive UZR/150 in LF (0.7) in 154 innings

For his career he's a light negative as an outfielder at -1.9 in 471.1 innings
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The Cubs’ transaction list under Epstein and Hoyer reads like a work of fiction, a wish-fulfillment list composed in hindsight.

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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby Cubswin11 » Thu Apr 27, 2017 2:34 pm

Ding Dong Johnson wrote:his defense is not very good. no metric needed

He seems entirely adequate out there
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby David » Thu Apr 27, 2017 2:39 pm

Cubswin11 wrote:
Ding Dong Johnson wrote:his defense is not very good. no metric needed

He seems entirely adequate out there


Yeah, I mean, he's not going to catch anything especially difficult and he will look bad at times due to his build/lacking athleticism, but it's not like i cringe when the ball is hit to left. i expect him to catch what he should and surprise us with some that he shouldn't here and there.
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Re: "horsefeathers looks like The Thing" - The Kyle Schwarber Thread

Postby UMFan83 » Thu Apr 27, 2017 3:33 pm

David wrote:
Cubswin11 wrote:
Ding Dong Johnson wrote:his defense is not very good. no metric needed

He seems entirely adequate out there


Yeah, I mean, he's not going to catch anything especially difficult and he will look bad at times due to his build/lacking athleticism, but it's not like i cringe when the ball is hit to left. i expect him to catch what he should and surprise us with some that he shouldn't here and there.


Is it really any worse that how Soler looked out there tracking fly balls? I'm actually asking because he seems like he has some issues making quick reads on some fly balls or misjudges how they bounce off the wall, but overall he seems pretty competent.
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