RIP Anthony Bourdain

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weis21
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Re: RIP Anthony Bourdain

Postby weis21 » Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:13 am

philosophizer75 wrote:This one is particularly difficult to swallow, I think, because for anybody who was inclined to enjoy the entertainment Bourdain produced, it took about 5 minutes before you felt like he was your cool ass, globe-trotting, cuisine loving, rough around the edges but absolutely endearing uncle.

Such an interesting guy. What a shame.

I don't know how to go about cracking the nut that is depression/mental health issues at a societal scale. At a few points in my life I've teetered on the precipice of ending it all for myself. Those days are, thankfully, mere blips in the rearview now, but I still ponder over what drove me to those depths quite often. In my experience, it was always a much easier rationalization to just: bottle everything up, suck it up, rub some dirt on it, get over it, keep to oneself; rather than share my weakness, my ailment, with anyone else.

I would embark on this train of thought time and again where:
"everyone else can make their way from one day to the next, you're just being a wuss."
to
"nobody wants to hear you complain about your trivial problems."
to
"you can't even wake up from a full night's sleep without hating yourself, what a worthless waste."

Having that as my inner monologue all day for months and months and years and years compounded upon itself to the point where I just wanted to go away. Nobody would miss me anyway, you see, which I had divined through all of the zero conversations I had had with them on the matter. What they actually thought was of little consequence, none of them knew me better than I knew myself, and I horsefeathering hated me. I would be doing them a service by going away.

Then one night when I was at just about the absolute nadir of my mental well being, I worked up the courage to tell my best friend everything. I sorta tricked myself into it by going full on nihilistic and thinking "if none of this matters anyway, and you don't hate her, just you, then it doesn't matter if you do her the courtesy of keeping her in the loop". I completely blindsided her, but I've never in my life felt more loved or appreciated than I did during and after that conversation. I truly believe she saved me, but in retrospect any of my siblings or my parents or grandparents or uncles or aunts would've done the same for me. At her behest, I ended up going to see a counselor that was provided for any student who had need of one at my college later in that week and had pretty much flipped the script on that entire chapter of my life within a year.

I wrote way more here than I had intended, but I figure that if someone else, even just one other person, can gain insight from my mistakes and my corrections then I'm glad to share. We're all biological machines churning out emotions and feelings and thoughts, and the best safety valve we have for letting off any excess is each other. If you feel that you're worthless or if you're without hope, try opening up to someone, be it a friend, a relative, the suicide hotline, a counselor, or some random person you find on the internet. Warped thoughts beget even more twisted notions. Depression is a toxic cycle, and if you allow it to run its course in isolation, you're giving the virus exactly what it needs to thrive.

Thank you for sharing. I'm going through a custody battle and have dealt with similar issues and thoughts in the past. I'm trying to be strong everyday but some days are harder than others at being strong. I appreciate your views and insight.

Some days I feel like a basket case at times. I watched the Hayward GS walk off prob a dozen times and I can't watch it without tearing up. I don't view that as a fault, though, honestly. Just trying to find and appreciate good moments.
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Re: RIP Anthony Bourdain

Postby Banedon » Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:50 am

David wrote:Holy horsefeathers this is exactly how I feel about myself


Yep, that definitely hits close to home.
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Re: RIP Anthony Bourdain

Postby CubinNY » Sat Jun 09, 2018 1:04 am

This on has hit me hard.
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Re: RIP Anthony Bourdain

Postby CubinNY » Sat Jun 09, 2018 1:21 am

Sammy Sofa wrote:And then it's scarier when it's tough to predict/expect what the effects of a new medication will be, or how that medication will react with something else you're taking (even if it's over the counter). I had some crippling bouts as bad as or worse than anything I drove myself into that were brought on by my system adjusting to something new, or just because it didn't interact well with a prescription antacid/proton inhibitor.

Then you throw on the added task of managing sobriety/addictive/self-destructive temptations and behaviors, and it's a horsefeathering mess that can both sneak up seemingly out of the blue on both the person it's happening to AND everyone around them. "He/she seemed fine/happy/totally normal/etc. when I saw them the day before/that morning/etc." is such a common refrain, and often it's chalked up to the idea that the person had already made their decision and that was what made them seem so "happy" or "at peace," but all too often it's because you have no idea how you're going to feel, like, 6 hours from now.

As someone who experiences at times debilitating depression and also works in the field I can tell you By and large antidepressants are ineffective long term. Depression is so difficult to treat for the reasons others have pointed out. The best advice I have is to seek therapy from a person specifically trained to treat depression. There is a relatively new therapy model called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Act) that is a version of cognitive behavior therapy that has shown excellent results in treating depression randomized control studies. Don’t be afraid to get help.
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Re: RIP Anthony Bourdain

Postby Sammy Sofa » Sat Jun 09, 2018 1:25 am

Sammy Sofa wrote:When a therapist explained it to me along the lines of, "depression is the best/worst liar you will ever meet," it all kind of clicked. Everything it says to you is a lie, but it's the most believable lie you've ever heard, no matter what it's about. Have all the money you could need? You're just going to lose it all next week, or all that money has actually turned everyone against you. There are people who care about you and love you? You're just a burden to them and in the long run they'll be better off without you. It has an "answer" for EVERYTHING.


The more I think about it, I'm pretty sure I actually remember this sort of thing coming up on his shows more than once. Like, I remember him doing narration where he'd talk about feeling lonely or depressed for some such reason, and he's not sure if he wants to keep doing that particular trip or even the show, but then he's seem to realize the amazing situation he's in. But then THAT he'd shoot down because if he keeps "complaining" or quits, he assumes people will be critical of him and accuse him of being selfish or bitter or entitled, and then that just makes him even more depressed. And then he makes a kinda joke about how he SHOULD be happy, and THAT just makes things even more depressing.

Like, to me, THAT'S depression; it's just this thing that somehow has an answer to counter anything you can think of as to why you shouldn't be depressed. You can actually see and realize the positive alternatives, but you get convinced to turn away from it, and you are totally recognizing that happening, and just that it's happening and you can't resist makes it even worse.
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Re: RIP Anthony Bourdain

Postby Sammy Sofa » Sat Jun 09, 2018 1:29 am

CubinNY wrote:
Sammy Sofa wrote:And then it's scarier when it's tough to predict/expect what the effects of a new medication will be, or how that medication will react with something else you're taking (even if it's over the counter). I had some crippling bouts as bad as or worse than anything I drove myself into that were brought on by my system adjusting to something new, or just because it didn't interact well with a prescription antacid/proton inhibitor.

Then you throw on the added task of managing sobriety/addictive/self-destructive temptations and behaviors, and it's a horsefeathering mess that can both sneak up seemingly out of the blue on both the person it's happening to AND everyone around them. "He/she seemed fine/happy/totally normal/etc. when I saw them the day before/that morning/etc." is such a common refrain, and often it's chalked up to the idea that the person had already made their decision and that was what made them seem so "happy" or "at peace," but all too often it's because you have no idea how you're going to feel, like, 6 hours from now.

As someone who experiences at times debilitating depression and also works in the field I can tell you By and large antidepressants are ineffective long term. Depression is so difficult to treat for the reasons others have pointed out. The best advice I have is to seek therapy from a person specifically trained to treat depression. There is a relatively new therapy model called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Act) that is a version of cognitive behavior therapy that has shown excellent results in treating depression randomized control studies. Don’t be afraid to get help.


That's very good advice I agree with. Regular therapy and finding a therapist I really clicked with ultimately did the most good by far. Just having someone like that to talk to at least (and usually just) once a week at this point makes all the difference in the world.
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Re: RIP Anthony Bourdain

Postby Sosa21MVP » Sat Jun 09, 2018 2:13 am

I've battled depression for 18 years. I've been doing better the last two years. Anti-depressants never did much for me. I personally support therapy over pills although I recognize everyone's situation is different. For me, just verbalizing what I experience with someone who understands the nature of depression has been far more impactful than downing a pill every day.
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Re: RIP Anthony Bourdain

Postby Regular Show » Sat Jun 09, 2018 3:09 am

Good article and a good read.




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Re: RIP Anthony Bourdain

Postby squally1313 » Sat Jun 09, 2018 3:46 pm

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Re: RIP Anthony Bourdain

Postby bcl412 » Sat Jun 09, 2018 5:12 pm

I’ve found the ACT therapy to be very helpful. My issues revolve around anxiety more than depression though I have both. I find getting to a therapist to be a struggle personally for multiple reasons. What’s ironic is my wife actually is one but she’s not really to do much for me aside from give me advise as treating mental health on a spouse is problematic.

On another note I found out that one of my employees brother committed suicide last night and I’m heart broken for the kid as he’s only 20. This horsefeathers sucks
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Re: RIP Anthony Bourdain

Postby Ding Dong Johnson » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:03 am

David Simon on Anthony Bourdain

https://davidsimon.com/tony/
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