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The Brainfart Thread

Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2020 4:28 am
by soccer10k
Hairyducked Idiot wrote:It happens. I got out to the car yesterday after lunch. Go through the hassle of getting kid buckled. Sit in the driver's seat. Start trying to find my keys in my pocket, realize I don't feel them. I must have left them on the table at the restaurant. We're right outside, I could run in and get them, leave kid in the car for 20 seconds, he won't care and he's old enough people wouldn't think it was weird. But the car is running so that seems like a little too much risk. It took me a good 10 seconds to realize what I was missing with that scenario.


Inspired by this story from the Politics thread.

A couple weeks ago, my wife was taking our daughter somewhere. She put our daughter in the car and had her climb to the carseat while she came back inside to get something. Goes back to the car and the doors are locked. She comes back in for the extra key. I take it out and try it. Automatic unlock isn't working. So we tell our daughter, who isn't strapped in, to climb over and unlock the doors, which she does. We get our daughter in the carseat and my wife is sitting in the drivers seat. At that moment, I have a realization. We are idiots. My wife asks why. I tell her to close the door and lock it. The car key is one of those where the actual key flips open but we never use it to unlock the doors because of the lock/unlock button on it (we do have to use it to start the car). So I hold up the key, flip it open and unlock the door. She just smiles and acknowledges our stupidity. Both our cars have it so we haven't used the actual key to unlock our car doors in over 8 years.

Re: The Brainfart Thread

Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2020 12:20 pm
by The Logan
If I had a dollar for every time I searched for my keys wondering where they were, looking high and low, patting down all my pockets, only to realize I was holding them in my hand, why I'd have at least $12

Re: The Brainfart Thread

Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2020 6:35 am
by JudasIscariotTheBird
I don't know if this qualifies as a brainfart, but this was easily the dumbest thing I've ever done.

I was about 16 years old, and I was tasked with picking up my little sister (13 years old) at her friend's house about 2 miles from our house. She hopped in our 90' Dodge minivan and I started doing a Y turn to head back when the van just died. Fuel injector issue. Nothing I could do to fix it so I just needed to get the car out of traffic and park it on the side of the road. We were nearly perpendicular to the road when it died, and near the top of a slight decline, with an open parking spot at the bottom of the hill, but I needed to push the car a little before it could roll to the open spot. I straighten out the wheel, put the car in neutral, and tell my sister to take the wheel and just stop the car when it gets to the spot. She says "...are we going to stop?" And I say "well yeah, of course." I give the car a little push, and she's guiding the car to the right spot...but she isn't slowing down. I realize she doesn't think the breaks work without the engine being on. I race to the front of the car and starting slowing it down, superman-style, screaming at her to hit the breaks. I'm not sure if I'm more worried about my sister's safety or just being in a horsefeathers pile of trouble for wrecking the car like this, but I think I'm going to slow it down enough to not ram into the car ahead of the spot...but I wasn't quite right. My knees get sandwiched between the van and the parked car at about 3 mph. It was unpleasant. I push the van off me, and lie down in the front yard of some suburban jerk's front yard for a good 15 minutes before we set off for the limping 2 mile walk back home, asking my sister not to report on the details of how dumb I am. More severe knee injuries since then haven't helped, but my knee is still pretty crappy.

TLDR: I hit myself with my own car.

Re: The Brainfart Thread

Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2020 1:24 pm
by Banedon
I lived in Boise, Idaho for a couple of years, and I was working at a building down town, 2nd shift...like 2pm-11:30pm or so. It had been a decently warm summer, but it was just turning to fall so I wore a jacket in to work that day in case it was cool when I got out of work. The only free parking for where I worked was in a dirt lot, under some trees, several blocks from the building I worked in, so it was a bit of a trek...not too bad. Got the end of my shift, came out to my truck...no keys. It's dark, and even darker because there's poor lighting and the trees around the lot. I didn't have a cell phone back then, so I hike back to the building, go up to my desk and call my wife.

"Honey, I think I locked my keys in my truck. I can't see in there to be sure but it's the only thing that makes sense."

So she starts to make the 30 min drive from our house in Nampa to downtown Boise to bring the spare keys. About 15 min later, I stand up to walk back to my truck and I notice it. My jacket, hanging there in my cubicle.

Keys were in the pocket.