ctcf wrote:Wow, just saw the news. I was fortunate enough to talk to Fred a month or two back on the phone and wish I had realized it would be the last time. I recall that back then the prognosis was somewhat longer than it turned out to be.
having had a close friend's mother and grandfather pass away since my last trip back to the US - sometimes it is actually better to not know. you enjoy the time that you had together. my friend's mom knew she was dying when i saw her a couple of months before she passed. we had a really nice time with her, my friend, and her grandchildren, just catching up and chatting like we always did. at first after she passed away i thought that i wished she had told me she was dying when i had seen her, but then i thought about what it would have been like if i'd known. the two times i saw her on that visit were clearly going to be the last time that i'd see her (since i was going back to australia), and those visits would have been filled with tears and sadness rather than the genuine happiness of seeing a friend.
i don't know how fred's last couple of months or years were, and i really don't need to know, but i truly hope that they were filled with happiness and with the love of all those who cared about him. by all accounts, he was a good man and deserved that much.