Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby TBS Playoffs Insider » Sat May 26, 2018 4:51 pm

jason heyward: somehow jason heyward
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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby OleMissCub » Sun May 27, 2018 4:59 am

Heyward currently has an UZR of 1.8

Schwarber is at 3.2
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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby Duke Silver » Wed May 30, 2018 1:09 am

Um, Heyward moved back in the box again. This is the answer.
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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby UK » Wed May 30, 2018 1:23 am

Duke Silver wrote:Um, Heyward moved back in the box again. This is the answer.



After this has been said by this author....

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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby Tim » Wed May 30, 2018 1:24 am

UK wrote:
Duke Silver wrote:Um, Heyward moved back in the box again. This is the answer.



After this has been said by this author....

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See - that's when he's standing too close!
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Spoiler: show

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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby UK » Wed May 30, 2018 1:25 am

Good catch.
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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby Duke Silver » Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:27 am

For anyone questioning the Power of Somehow, let's review.

May 20, 2016. Duke writes what could be considered my first article: "Kyle Hendricks: Somehow Good."
viewtopic.php?p=40554#p40554

Now a thread titled "Kyle Hendricks: Somehow Greg Maddux," I wrote glowingly of a guy with a 3.58 ERA, coming off of a season with a 3.95 ERA. From that date on, Hendricks had a 1.75 ERA and led the majors in ERA at the end of the year. He pitched perhaps the best game in franchise history, shutting out the Dodgers, besting Clayton Kershaw, and clinching the franchise's first World Series berth in 71 years. He then started Game 7 of the Cubs' first World Series win in 108 years.

Unbeknownst at the time, the Old Duke'ster was actually a plague on the Cubs, due to the baseball gods hating me for some reason. The Duke Curse soon became quite apparent. It should have been known when I wrote this sentence in 2016:

The Cubs could face a ninth-inning tie in Game 7. And they will feel more secure knowing that Aroldis Chapman is lingering in their bullpen and not their opponent's.


But it wasn't until I nearly killed off the whole Cubs roster last year that we all caught on. In Spring Training, I wrote an article about Spring Training stats and suggested that Javy Baez might strike out less. His K% went up from 24.0% to 28.9%. I also argued that Ben Zobrist's poor Spring stats meant nothing because his peripherals still looked good. He finished with a .82 wRC+. I also wondered if Addison Russell was going to have a breakout season. He had an 84 wRC+.

I then wrote an article stating that Kyle Schwarber was breaking out. He was playing in AAA two months later.

My next article was one advising that better days were ahead for the Cubs' rotation. They all got much worse, were injured, or died.

I then wrote an article about Kyle Hendricks and his 3.81 ERA and why I still loved him. From that date on, he had a 2.04 ERA. After I didn't kill Kyle, I wondered why he was immune from the Duke Curse.

Next, I wrote an ode to Jon Lester's cutter. Lester completely lost command of his cutter immediately after my article and was placed on the DL within a couple weeks.

Undeterred, I wrote an article about Jake Arrieta returning to ace form. Within hours, Arrieta was serving up dongs before leaving with a cursed hamstring strain. Here's where things get really weird. The title of my Arrieta article was "The Gang Gets a New Ace." This title is a reference to the television show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. At the time, I thought I was welcoming the Cubs' ace back. It turns out, I was temporarily killing him, making him untrustworthy in Theo's eyes, and handing over a new ace to the Phillies.

The Duke Curse is very real. But why does it only make Kyle Hendricks stronger? Somehow. After tweeting about Ian Happ, the unenlightened would be sure to think I jinxed him. He homered on his next AB.





Since discovering the Power of Somehow, the eerie incidents have abounded. I once responded to Bryant's Disco Ball that Kyle Hendricks wouldn't give up any more hard-hit balls in a game and that the Cubs would mount a late rally to win. BDB reminded me that I didn't include "somehow." The next batter he faced hit a flyout to the wall. A warning. I edited my post to include "somehow." Kyle finished off 7 2-hit innings and the Cubs scored 5 late to win easily. I also somehow saved Yu Darvish's life: viewtopic.php?p=265691#p265691

Last night, I said that Quintana would somehow spin a gem. I'm somehow going to somehow us into a bunch of dongs tonight.
Last edited by Duke Silver on Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby Duke Silver » Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:40 am

Which brings me to Jason Heyward. Let's review here, too.

Heyward hits like Cesar Izturis, while standing like this in the box last year:
Image

Heyward starts standing in the box like this at the start of this year:
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I write an article about him moving back in the box and that it's led to him hitting .271/.360/.431.

Heyward then decides to move up closer to the plate like he was last year:
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After hitting .163/.236/.245 after my article jinxing him, I make note of him standing like this. I beg him to move back in the box, using the Power of Somehow. Three days later, he is standing in the box like this:
Image

And somehow he is hitting .476/.522/.619 since I blessed him with somehow.
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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby TBS Playoffs Insider » Fri Jun 01, 2018 1:51 pm

if there was a real baseball twitter like there's an nba twitter, you would be the lil b of baseball twitter
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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby Ding Dong Johnson » Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:34 pm

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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby CyHawk_Cub » Fri Jun 01, 2018 2:59 pm

Duke Silver wrote:bunch of stuff


Hmmm, maybe....
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Oh HELL NO....
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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby PackLandVA » Fri Jun 01, 2018 10:57 pm

My head hurts.
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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby Thed Hoyerstein » Mon Jun 04, 2018 4:03 pm

PackLandVA wrote:My head hurts.


Somehow hurts.
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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby JudasIscariotTheBird » Thu Jun 07, 2018 4:07 am

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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby CyHawk_Cub » Thu Jun 07, 2018 4:32 am

I've been rough on Duke for his voodoo ways. After Heyward's walkoff GS, maybe I owe Duke an apology.





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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby Duke Silver » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:34 am

The hit off Hader was on the inside. He's slugging .533 with an 88.1 mph exit velocity on pitches on the inner third since I posted in here about him moving up closer to the plate and he somehow decided to move back off of it.
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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby David » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:43 am

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The Cubs’ transaction list under Epstein and Hoyer reads like a work of fiction, a wish-fulfillment list composed in hindsight.

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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby jersey cubs fan » Tue Jun 12, 2018 8:49 am

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longhotsummer wrote:I realize now, any opposing viewpoint, will not be tolerated.

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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby PackLandVA » Tue Jun 12, 2018 9:59 am

Heyward is not fixed. Let’s not be silly.
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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby gobigred » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:08 pm

lets hope he continues and then opts out .win win right there
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Re: Is Jason Heyward Fixed?

Postby BigSlick » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:13 pm

obviously one should not declare him fixed without like, several months of good play, but he's hitting the ball with authority for the first time since his week long nice stretches that he had both in 2016 and 2017
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