Food Monstrosities

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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Tue Apr 23, 2019 9:14 pm

This was perfect
The expo is a subtlety-free zone, infused with the spirit of boardwalk T-shirts. Even the names of the sauces follow a rough template: select a wicked adjective (Heartbreaking, Screaming, Righteous, Voodoo), append it to a random noun (Felon, Dawn, Chili, Mimi), and call it a day. The permutations are endless.
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby TruffleShuffle » Wed May 01, 2019 4:41 am

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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Wed May 01, 2019 6:09 pm

TruffleShuffle wrote:https://twitter.com/aristafbabi/status/1123258643732934656?s=21

Dafuq.

My first Google search for vegan lasagna still looks like lasagna. That's just a layered salad.

Edit

Lol

Edit 2
https://www.today.com/today/amp/tdna153 ... ssion=true

On Saturday night, dinner was served and, according to Chmeller, “Omar was very pleased with the thought behind the gesture.”

Pleased with:
The flavor [ ]
The texture [ ]
The presentation [ ]
The thought [×]
Last edited by WrigleyField 22 on Wed May 01, 2019 6:18 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby Sammy Sofa » Wed May 01, 2019 6:13 pm

Yeah, I've had actual vegan lasagna that would make you weak in the knees from how good it is (fun fact: "vegan" too often does not mean "healthier," as I learned the hard way); this looks like something that should be dumped all over someone's car.
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby Sammy Sofa » Thu May 02, 2019 1:20 am

Check out this dip horsefeathers trying to go to bat for St. Louis pizza, and then getting annihilated in the comments.

https://thetakeout.com/do-not-mock-st-l ... 1834177305

THIS is how he horsefeathering tried to sell it:

But what sets St. Louis style pizza apart from the other schools of Midwestern thin crust is the much-ballyhooed Provel cheese: a processed combo of cheddar, Swiss, and provolone that basically tastes like a classier Velveeta. It’s a curious vehicle to be sure, especially if you’re not used to it; it can taste a little plastic-y and gummy to the unaccustomed palate. Processed cheese is never the healthiest option, and there’s a layer of artificiality to the entire affair—but hey, pizza was never a health food anyway, and it’s easy to just tell yourself the thin crust makes up for it. That’s what going low-carb means, right?


Holy horsefeathers. That was from someone writing an article all about defending this nightmare. THAT WAS HIS BEST PITCH.
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Thu May 02, 2019 3:32 am

You're palate must adapt to the plasticy rubber taste.

:?
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby Sammy Sofa » Thu May 02, 2019 6:18 pm

Does this count?

https://deadspin.com/dodgers-fan-keeps- ... 1834470993

Same Dodgers fan has two foul balls come his way, and manages to lose food all over other people both times, including a tragic slice of flying pizza.

As pointed out in the article, never forget the greatest pizza baseball moment of all time:

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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby minnesotacubsfan » Thu May 02, 2019 7:58 pm

Sammy Sofa wrote:Check out this dip horsefeathers trying to go to bat for St. Louis pizza, and then getting annihilated in the comments.

https://thetakeout.com/do-not-mock-st-l ... 1834177305

THIS is how he horsefeathering tried to sell it:

But what sets St. Louis style pizza apart from the other schools of Midwestern thin crust is the much-ballyhooed Provel cheese: a processed combo of cheddar, Swiss, and provolone that basically tastes like a classier Velveeta. It’s a curious vehicle to be sure, especially if you’re not used to it; it can taste a little plastic-y and gummy to the unaccustomed palate. Processed cheese is never the healthiest option, and there’s a layer of artificiality to the entire affair—but hey, pizza was never a health food anyway, and it’s easy to just tell yourself the thin crust makes up for it. That’s what going low-carb means, right?


Holy horsefeathers. That was from someone writing an article all about defending this nightmare. THAT WAS HIS BEST PITCH.



If he had written "vomiting last nights spaghetti-o's on pita bread and eating it with a spoon" he could have described it with more accuracy and made it just as appealing all at once.
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby soccer10k » Fri May 03, 2019 4:51 am

Sammy Sofa wrote:Does this count?

https://deadspin.com/dodgers-fan-keeps- ... 1834470993

Same Dodgers fan has two foul balls come his way, and manages to lose food all over other people both times, including a tragic slice of flying pizza.

As pointed out in the article, never forget the greatest pizza baseball moment of all time:



Also, if you pick up a foul ball off the ground, you don't get to celebrate. Leave that to people who actually catch the ball.
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby NonProfitCow » Fri May 03, 2019 11:21 pm

soccer10k wrote:Also, if you pick up a foul ball off the ground, you don't get to celebrate. Leave that to people who actually catch the ball.

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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby soccer10k » Sat May 04, 2019 3:04 am

NonProfitCow wrote:
soccer10k wrote:Also, if you pick up a foul ball off the ground, you don't get to celebrate. Leave that to people who actually catch the ball.

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If he had caught the ball, then sure, celebrate your ass off. I’m not saying don’t be happy you got a foul ball. I’ve never gotten one and I’d love to get one. But don’t act like you did something cool when you couldn’t catch the ball and spilled $15-20 worth of food in the process.

Don’t know if you took it this way but I definitely didn’t mean only players can celebrate.
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby jersey cubs fan » Tue May 07, 2019 5:47 pm

I see your food monstrosities and raise you a beverage monstrosity



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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby Sammy Sofa » Tue May 07, 2019 6:07 pm

So it's THIS close to Difficult People's idea of canned library water fountain water.
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby Ding Dong Johnson » Tue May 07, 2019 6:11 pm

Speaking of beverage monstrosities, got this at a benefit auction thingy:

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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby Banedon » Thu May 16, 2019 4:23 pm

Just keep serving the egg mcmuffin all day and we won't have a problem...

https://thetakeout.com/mcdonalds-change ... 1834812343
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Fri May 17, 2019 12:24 am

Since the franchises can customize it, can a franchise just ditch the non breakfast items and be a special Breakfast McDonald's?
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby biittner77 » Fri May 17, 2019 6:19 pm

I was in Louisville recently and we had "Louisville Style" Pizza. I asked what that meant and the server said "Thin crust with lots of toppings". It was ok, I guess.
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby The Logan » Fri May 17, 2019 7:55 pm

Sounds like something that would wind up being a pizza salad with some thin crust croutons.
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby Sammy Sofa » Fri May 17, 2019 7:58 pm

Too many toppings compromises the pizza. This definitely sounds like a monstrosity.
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby minnesotacubsfan » Fri May 17, 2019 8:03 pm

1. pizza is easy to make
2. pizza is cheap to make
3. everyone loves pizza and it sells
4. every horsefeathering town alive is jealous of the genius loci claimed by NYC and Chicago have with pizza so they try and copy it


screw Louisville and their lousy pizza
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Fri May 17, 2019 8:27 pm

Pretty sure Louisville Pizza is just Pizza Hut* you guys.

ETA - *edited joke to reflect proper chain pizza monstrosity HQ in Louisville.
Last edited by WrigleyField 22 on Fri May 17, 2019 8:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby jersey cubs fan » Fri May 17, 2019 8:30 pm

WrigleyField 22 wrote:Pretty sure Louisville Pizza is just Little Ceasars you guys.

well you got YUM Brands there, so Pizza Hut is likely, although Papa John also had a big influence so it's probably an amalgamation
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Fri May 17, 2019 8:34 pm

jersey cubs fan wrote:
WrigleyField 22 wrote:Pretty sure Louisville Pizza is just Little Ceasars you guys.

well you got YUM Brands there, so Pizza Hut is likely, although Papa John also had a big influence so it's probably an amalgamation

Yea I realized it after I hit send but to be fair about 7 years ago I went to the Kentucky Derby with a bachelor and got separated from the rest of the group and couldn't find my way back to the hotel. I ended up in a Little Caesars and the Hot N Ready box eventually was my rain cover (this was whatever year the derby was super rainy). So my association with Louisville and Little Caesars is strong.
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby jersey cubs fan » Fri May 17, 2019 8:37 pm

WrigleyField 22 wrote:
jersey cubs fan wrote:
WrigleyField 22 wrote:Pretty sure Louisville Pizza is just Little Ceasars you guys.

well you got YUM Brands there, so Pizza Hut is likely, although Papa John also had a big influence so it's probably an amalgamation

Yea I realized it after I hit send but to be fair about 7 years ago I went to the Kentucky Derby with a bachelor and got separated from the rest of the group and couldn't find my way back to the hotel. I ended up in a Little Caesars and the Hot N Ready box eventually was my rain cover (this was whatever year the derby was super rainy). So my association with Louisville and Little Caesars is strong.

well last year's was the record rain

Was it the one right near the Beef OBradys? You should have walked the other direction to the Central Beer Depot. That place rocks for post race drinking.
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Re: Food Monstrosities

Postby WrigleyField 22 » Fri May 17, 2019 8:49 pm

jersey cubs fan wrote:
WrigleyField 22 wrote:
jersey cubs fan wrote:well you got YUM Brands there, so Pizza Hut is likely, although Papa John also had a big influence so it's probably an amalgamation

Yea I realized it after I hit send but to be fair about 7 years ago I went to the Kentucky Derby with a bachelor and got separated from the rest of the group and couldn't find my way back to the hotel. I ended up in a Little Caesars and the Hot N Ready box eventually was my rain cover (this was whatever year the derby was super rainy). So my association with Louisville and Little Caesars is strong.

well last year's was the record rain

Was it the one right near the Beef OBradys? You should have walked the other direction to the Central Beer Depot. That place rocks for post race drinking.

Yea, not last year. Must have been 2013 I think. Also my phone died due to the rain/water. At some point my poncho ripped so I tore it off. And I certainly needed no additional booze at that point.
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